Thursday, June 23, 2011

Stressed OUT

I am soooooo tired.  Being tired makes me anxious.  I had chronic fatigue and missed my Grade 11 year so when I get a certain kind of tired it makes me anxious. 

I am almost that tired right now. 

So naturally I went to Jazzercise today and during the never.ending.thigh.routine I was contemplating why I am so tired.  It is better to think of anything other than how bloody long that routine is and how you might die from the burning in your muscles.

The mindblowing conclusion I came to was that I am tired because my routines have been all out of whack for a few weeks and there has been some stress...... mindblowing right?

Ok Ok so if you just shook your head and muttered "Duh" I understand.  But I am interested in how much I love routine and how its absence stresses me out. 

I love routines. I love predictability. I love systems.  I love rituals and traditions.  I like the order these things bring to my life.  It makes me feel safe and in control and I function best like that.  I have really worked on this over the last few years and am much more comfortable with a certain level of spontaneity and spur.of.the.moment-ness. 

I actually think if you have a good foundation of routine it can facilitate more flexibility.  I found that with my kids too..... we had a pretty solid routine but when there was a special occasion or a day when things were different they always rose to the occasion.

So as things settle down this week I am allowing the stress to rise and my body to react with fatigue, because now I can go to bed early and sleep later on the weekend, have some downtime........

So this scary tired will be gone.....very soon........and then what will I think about during the thigh routine???

Good night blog world.

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