I am soooooo tired. Being tired makes me anxious. I had chronic fatigue and missed my Grade 11 year so when I get a certain kind of tired it makes me anxious.
I am almost that tired right now.
So naturally I went to Jazzercise today and during the never.ending.thigh.routine I was contemplating why I am so tired. It is better to think of anything other than how bloody long that routine is and how you might die from the burning in your muscles.
The mindblowing conclusion I came to was that I am tired because my routines have been all out of whack for a few weeks and there has been some stress...... mindblowing right?
Ok Ok so if you just shook your head and muttered "Duh" I understand. But I am interested in how much I love routine and how its absence stresses me out.
I love routines. I love predictability. I love systems. I love rituals and traditions. I like the order these things bring to my life. It makes me feel safe and in control and I function best like that. I have really worked on this over the last few years and am much more comfortable with a certain level of spontaneity and spur.of.the.moment-ness.
I actually think if you have a good foundation of routine it can facilitate more flexibility. I found that with my kids too..... we had a pretty solid routine but when there was a special occasion or a day when things were different they always rose to the occasion.
So as things settle down this week I am allowing the stress to rise and my body to react with fatigue, because now I can go to bed early and sleep later on the weekend, have some downtime........
So this scary tired will be gone.....very soon........and then what will I think about during the thigh routine???
Good night blog world.