Sunday, June 12, 2011

It takes a Village (Part 2)

Two posts ago I wrote about how the Village came together to help Lindsay - and WOW we made over $500 at the Garage Sale and Lindsay sailed over her goal of raising $1000 towards her trip to France - so thank you again Villagers!!

The story today is about a the failure of a crucial part of the Village to do its part for our son David.  I want to immediately say that many of you reading this have been loving and supportive Villagers for David and we thank you SO much and we are counting on you to keep it up as he faces some challenges).

We are pulling David out of school this week.

There have been many tears shed but we have finally come to the conclusion that the Village that is his school has utterly failed to provide him with safety from bullying and seems to have no interest in helping or even communicating with us.  This situation has been longstanding and we have tried on many occasions to dialogue, seek services, demand solutions....... nothing has worked and we have not been heard.  We no longer believe there is sufficient emotional safety for David to continue at this school or indeed for him to be a successful learner there.

Of course we have missed pretty much every deadline for applications for transfer and other placements so I scrambled around town last week trying to find something that will work for him.  We were denied a transfer to the first choice but have an opportunity to appeal the denial.  I did manage to register him at his catchment school and they have to accept him but its not a french immersion school so while he would have somewhere to go his continued studies in French would be jeopardized. 

But no matter what..... he isn't going to back to his current school and we are so happy about that.  Angry and sad beyond words but happy to have broken free of the negativity and hurt we have all dealt with there - most especially our precious son who deserves so much more.

While this has broken my mothers heart and the tears flow as I write this - it has also been so challenging for his Dad, who as an Educator is so affronted by the lack of ethics and professionalism of his "colleagues".  Allan is such an advocate for his students and has so often gone above and beyond for them, it makes him so frustrated that others don't hold themselves to the same standards.  And of course his father heart is also heavy for the impact on our son.

We now wrestle with what action is appropriate.  I wrote a letter than cannot be sent if I wish to avoid a lawsuit (but it sure felt good to do).  Allan is much more reasonable in his response and I am grateful for the way he can temper my fiery darts into a more constructive response!  We want to model "finishing well" for David and want to leave with our heads held high..... but we want him out NOW! (well ... I do).

So Allan and I are strategizing how to work out this week and the how to care for David through this transition and the next steps.  I am grateful for a partner who shares the burden of this with me so equally.

No matter what - David will know that we love him more than he can ever imagine and that he deserves a safe place to learn and grow and be accepted for who he is and we will not rest until we get that for him. 

Our sweet, smart, funny, loving, ice-cream faced boy!


  1. Oh Nicky. I haven't read your blog for awhile and I am both horrified and heartbroken after reading this post. I can't imagine the pain that your family has gone through. There's room at Colin's school ;)

  2. Thanks Janice...... it was awfully hard but we got him into Homma and are looking forward to the fresh start!