Tuesday, January 17, 2017

17

Today...

January 17, 2017 

marks my 17th anniversary of the day I started with the Society of Richmond Children's Centres

Ahhh how I love the symmetry of that..... 17/17/17

Almost like I planned it.

When my colleague pointed out the auspiciousness of today in conversation yesterday (we share the same anniversary date) I hadn't even remembered. 

But through the evening / night I was reflecting on those 17 years.

What a lot has changed.  

How much I have grown and changed.

The people that have come....and gone.

The relationships that have enriched my life. 

The work itself and all it offers and challenges.

And, of course, I wondered for a moment or two if it was wise to have stayed in one job for so long - albeit a job that has itself evolved and changed so much.  Long careers in one place seem a bit of an anomaly these days.  I sometimes wonder at the various paths I could have taken, jobs I turned down....a pension I might have had...Ha!  

And so today dawned with me feeling less celebratory and a bit unsettled.  

Did I make the right choice?  Should I stay?  No good reasons to go but somehow others seem to be changing jobs and trying new things.... maybe I need to be more ambitious, more driven.... and yet I feel fulfilled where I am. 

And then this popped into my inbox this morning.


Ahhhhh perspective. 

I have both creativity and joy in my career and so much more.   

Work is a gift, worthy work with an incredible team is an even greater gift.  To claim creativity and joy as at least weekly parts of my work - pretty darn priceless.

This is right for me.... for now.... for the last 17 years and hopefully a few more.  
So here's to 17/17/17...... no need to change lanes.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Message in a massage

3 Things you should know:

1. I am seldom impulsive...I tend to the over-planning end of the spectrum.... case in point we met with the dog-sitter today...for a trip we are taking in mid-March

2.  I am frugal... to the stupid-frugal end of the spectrum...fortunately only when the money is to be spent on me or things that I don't like to spend money on.  If it's for you, my kids, friends..... frugal ain't my middle name.

3.  I am fairly useless at self-care.  Frankly I even find the term a bit annoying.  I am a happy, busy person who prefers doing things for others ... I think that is a legitimate way to live life. 

Today, after a week of having a nasty head cold I woke up and dual nostril breathing had returned to my head.  

Hallelujah - the angels sing! 

Despite a little sleep-in this morning we had to get up and going (see Dog sitter appointment above) and clean tidy the house etc.  

Also the boy needed a dress shirt for his upcoming Winter Formal and given I have two 6 day work weeks coming up it had to be today.

So to the mall we headed.  We found not 1 but 2 dress shirts that fit the boy and the bill and were home in pretty short order. (I won't digress here but Girl vs Boy clothing shopping for Grad events - no comparison in time, money and angst).

I plopped down on the couch.  It was 1pm,  I clicked on FB and saw this.



Without any real thinking/planning/consideration of multiple view points/listing of pros and cons/consulting with 10 people,  I replied immediately and then I called fully expecting the spot to have been taken.


It was not. 

So less that 60 minutes later I was face down under a heated blanket in a dimly lit room at a lovely spa, ready for an aromatherapy massage.

Crazy stuff. 

And as I lay there I was immensely relieved my nose wasn't running and I could breathe the lavender/patchouli scented air easily.  

As I allowed my body to relax and quieted my mind I realised I was being given a gift. 

A gift of time, a gift of care, a gift of relaxation, for an amazing discount and in it I heard the message that I was worthy of this gift.

I don't know why they had a cancellation, why I opened FB when I did, how this happened on the only free Saturday I have in weeks but this I do believe....it was meant to be. 

I actually told that to the lady at the reception at the Spa - "This is what was meant to happen today" and she looked at me and said "I believe that."  

As is often the case with a beautiful, surprise gift I am left humbled and deeply grateful.

And very, very relaxed.  

Saturday, December 31, 2016

2016

While the world seems to be freaking out about the number of celebrity deaths and seemingly trying to pin the blame on the year 2016....suggesting that the dawn of a new year will solve the ills of the world and stop people dying I am choosing to not write a post on my annoyance at this shallow and misplaced sense of anger and sorrow in the face of real pain and sorrow and war so many of our fellow humans are facing across the globe. 

Instead I am reflecting on 2016 in my world. 

2016 has certainly been focused on tertiary education in the Byres household. 

Allan spent the year completing the bulk of his Masters of Education in Leadership and Administration at the University of British Columbia.  The finish line is in sight and another 4 months of research and presentations will see this journey over.  He has been a dedicated and conscientious student and despite some hard times and pressured timelines he has enjoyed his studies.  He continues to enjoy his work at McMath and we are both curious about what the future holds for him.  He got in many fishing days and spent many happy hours in lakes and rivers of our beautiful province.  



Lindsay finished her First Year Psychology at the University of Victoria with a very impressive set of results.  Residence was a blast but she was more than ready for some time at home and in the kitchen.  She had a bit of a fight with an avocado early in the summer which led to surgery and a few weeks of rehab for a damaged finger. She worked all summer while amassing furniture for her first apartment.  We moved her in September to a sweet place and one in which she has managed a steep learning curve as she embarked on second year and living alone.  She got a nasty case of mono in the Fall but managed to keep on working and going to school after a weeks rest.  We are so proud of how she handled herself this semester in the classroom, at work and managing her home.  She loves her studies but does not love living alone and we will search for a different arrangement for her for next year. 


David is tackling Grade 12 and applying for University for next Fall.  He hopes to go to UBC like his Dad but the process is super competitive and he is going to need a bit more hard work and some luck to pull it off.  He spent the summer away from us in Kelowna working in various roles at Green Bay Bible Camp.  He loved it and hopes to reprise that experience in 2017.  He continues to be a very social, very busy boy involved in leading youth at church and many other activities as well as working 12-18 hours a week. He pulled off a 5th straight year at Strathcona Outdoor Ed - a place that will forever have a special place in his heart.  He continues to be an avid photographer and has had some wonderful times shooting various things, the highlight of which was We Day this year.

My work continues to be busy and fulfilling and ever changing.  Our organisation has doubled in size since I started and we are set to grow again in the year ahead.  HR takes the bulk of my time but I continue to have a deep heart for the curriculum side of early childhood and my passion for creating an organisation that honours childhood and the Educators is undiminished.  I am also continuing to teach in the evenings but the program in Richmond is closing so it may be my last course.  The additional teaching work is rewarding but is a lot of work but it has certainly helped with all the tuition fees we have !!  I do a lot of driving for our busy teens and am happiest when my little family are all in the house.

We managed a brief family getaway to SaltSpring Island at Spring Break and Allan and I had another brief vacation in August on our way to pick David up. Lest you think we were footloose and fancy free..we did have Mr Spanner with us.  He continues to be a delightful addition to the family in spite of the work he creates!

Some other highlights for the Byres Clan this year were our community farm plot with our friends that yielded delightful crops all Spring / Summer and was a good reason to get out on the land; lots of lovely meals and some great adventures with friends; our St.Johns Richmond home group, my Dad's retirement; a visit from an old friend; and so many ordinary yet extraordinary moments that enriched our days and weeks and months.

We look back with gratitude for a year in which we grew and learned and loved and we look forward to a year ahead in which some important milestones will be reached and in which we will endeavour to walk in peace and with joy in all the circumstances.

Thank YOU for being part of our story, for tracking with this blog that continues to be a source of joy for me and a means of connection with friends and family across this planet we call home. My very best wishes to you for a year ahead that sustains you and challenges you and in which you find a path that brings you JOY! 

xoxo



Friday, December 30, 2016

Snow Adventures

Finding joy in the everyday has been a quest for me this year.  

I often identify strongly with gloomy Eeyore (in Winnie the Pooh) and need to practice prayer and gratitude to search out the JOY that is there is to be found in the every day messiness of life.

I am not always successful.

I need more practice.

But today..... today was a day it was gloriously easy to find, see, hear and feel.

And for a mother who woke up two teens well before sunrise that is it's own special miracle!

We headed out in dense fog but as we cleared Stanley Park downtown we saw the sun rising and catching the tops of the local mountains.  

Joy!

We headed for Hollyburn Mountain with a good number of our fellow snow lovers. 

Still ahead of most of the crowd we got snow shoes rented and trail tickets in short order, and a parking spot mere feet from the trail (jackpot!) and we were off.

It was all sorts of wonderful.

The kids took off up the trail like puppies bounding in the snow.... leaping into deep snow... running and racing one another.... sibling rivalry about speed and strength and smarts being bantered about all the time. 
Chasing each other all the way

They are standing still....fakers


Allan and I smiled at one another.  It felt like one of those moments that is granted as a huge reward for not murdering them when they were toddlers or pre-teens. 

I trudged along at the back of the pack, stopping frequently to take  a photo and catch my breath.  I sound like I am dying when hiking uphill and I get very sweaty (sort of like I am about to have a heart attack) but  I'm fine, really, I can keep going and going... just more slowly than some.  I love watching my peeps on the trail ahead of me and love the odd quiet moment of the hush that you can only get in the middle of a snowy forest. 




I had packed many snacks - no weather conditions or unforeseen circumstances would stop my family from surviving on high calorie snack food in the great snowy wilderness.  Every back pack was equipped with "food" and water and dry socks. 

Would have been great if we had remembered a map.  

Anyhoo the trails are well marked and while we like to pretend we were all alone on the mountain we saw plenty of other adventurers along the way who could have helped us if we we would have asked for directions.   

But what's an adventure with directions I ask you?  

So we sipped our water and ate our fishing cookies on not-a-fishing-trip (nobody tell Fil Vera) and we made it up Snowy gully to the upper warming hut.


We stood outside the warming hut enjoying the fog that had now left the City and settled at the Upper Warming Hut.  We could have gone inside the hut but there were many small children from the ski school and we wished not be annoyed.... especially by that one kid in the neon orange toque...with no volume control and an opinion on everything..... you know the one. 


So as the icicles formed on my apparently barely existent eyebrows (a fact that causes constant amusement to my teens) we headed down.  

Until now I have diligently stayed on the green trails (easiest) and already today I had been up a few blue trails (moderate) but the teens decided a black diamond trail (life threatening) was in order on the descent off their youthful bravado and legs took them before I could protest or contemplate my imminent death.

Allan ready to catch a BIG snowball


As I am now writing this story I obviously survived.  I only fell into a snow bank once and that was when trying to vacate the trail for a group on the ascent. 

And so a most delightful, joy-filled, morning was had by the Byres4 bounding and stomping and jumping through the 28cm of new snow.
Why take a normal photo?

Ok - see - we can do normal - but it takes effort

"Wait for me"  

Allan and I "dabbing" while David prays he's adopted

AND as if this day could honestly give any more.... Lindsay AND I had naps on our return.  

For those counting - that is 2 naps for me in 2016.... clearly I am on a streak.   All I need in 2017 is my ability to sleep at night to return or finding the joy in anything is going to be harder work.  Especially for those who live with me lol.

Now please excuse me - I have some cheesies and swedish fish in my backpack I need to finish as we did not get lost in the snowy wilderness and need a rescue after all but snacks don't keep.

OUTTAKES:

Excuse me while I put my sunglasses on to look cooler here on my arse

We are always here to help our kids out

Ha Ha I am taller than you

Nope

No adventure without a jump shot!  Go David! Photo cred Lindsay


Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Gifting

I was very excited for Christmas this year.  

Mainly because giving gifts is one of my favourite things to do.  
I know some people find it a trial but I relish the task.

I am one for tucking away ideas and hints and storing them up until I see something just right.

I am one for spreadsheets and checklists.

I famously squirrel things away and have, from time to time, only remembered a gift once all the others have been opened on Christmas morning.

Somehow this Christmas was different.  

I got a very early start and I was so lucky to think of and find so many things I thought were just perfect.

I got over my fear of online shopping and despite some anxious moments waiting for the last parcel to arrive - it all worked to a T.

As I already blogged I decided to wrap each item as I got it instead of my usual pre-Christmas frenzy of never-enough tape and paper!


JOY! 
So as I unpacked my bags (checking and re-checking the closet to ensure none were left behind) I had forgotten what some of the items even where..... and I fell off on the spreadsheet filling-in a bit at the end too so there were a few more gifts than I realised... 

So on Christmas eve I read and relaxed and anticipated Christmas morning.

I think I was the most excited person in my household in the morning although my parents were over here before 8am! 

Not only did the gifts I gave bring the reactions and joy I hoped (or was assured of if I had shopped from a list I was given - our family pattern being something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to
read and something to brighten the world) but I watched as my family gifted each other with such thoughtful and creative gifts.

So much laughter - so many fun gifts - we had a very joy-filled morning.

Never was it truer for me that the joy is as much, if not more, in the giving than in the receiving. And for sure this year there was joy in the buying from some very cool etsy folks and other local and regional artisans and charities and causes.  And what was given was more than stuff - it was time and effort and love and energy and thoughtfulness. There are (lots) of new things but there is also deeper appreciation for one another. More love.

Of course, for me, it is also about the baby in the stable in Bethlehem.  Loving my family and friends deeply and tangibly on Christmas day is one 

Lindsay gave a big box to Allan
with the tag below.
way I share some of the love that came into the world that day.

As I survey my own gift pile with gratitude - I was well loved too - I am looking forward to a new year and hopefully a chance to do this all again in 2017.
From my college student - a beautiful gift
HA HA - so much pressure for a puppy
but NO WAY am I falling for that again



I WANTED all new tea towels - and boy did they heed my request!
Threw all the old one out !  Yippee!


The requisite Christmas puzzle - no so impossible after all.
Lucky because I wasn't allowed to eat turkey until it was done!

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Balthazar

2016 delivered another twist today. 

We had to pick the annual Byres Christmas tree without the Byres children. 

(insert the sound of a mother's breaking heart here)

David was working and Lindsay is being held captive by the UVIC library studying for finals. 

Weird priorities.

Whatever....We needed a tree and we needed it today because we host the first Christmas dinner of the season on Tuesday and also it's not currently snowing!

Usually (whatever usually is?) When the 4 of us go we each find trees but Lindsay always names her tree then makes us feel really bad for rejecting or leaving "Neville" or "Phillip" or "Archibald" .... so we never do.

Today she pleaded with us from the UVic library where she was "studying" to give it this tree a good name. 


We found THE tree in short order.

And Allan named it Billy..... and we proclaimed our triumph....as one does.


So Balthazar (and the new toque) came home with us. 

We set him up in the living room and put the lights on and waited for David to get home. 

After a dinner I lovingly made and muffins I lovingly made I asked the boys if they would help me decorate Balthazar?

They leapt from their seats and ran to the living room with joyful glee and delight.

Not.

They dragged their rather cute butts into the living room and I handed the older one a bag of balls and declared if he could manage to add those to the tree his duty could be considered done.

Give two boys a bag of balls...... 

Ai ya.....

They were soon being ridiculous and all manner of antics ensued.  

Quickly it became a contest as to who was taller and could reach the top of the tree..... unorthodox and unsanctioned methods were used.






So the tree is sort of done-ish. 

As I sit here, the boys both off to the land of netflix, I can hear said balls slowly falling through the branches, scattering fir needles as they drop.

I could be sad.

I could be mad.

But no.... I have put on my Hawaiian Santa hat, filled my red wine glass and I am going to bathe in the joy and peace of the season in the lovely glow of Balthazar and his many golden balls.


Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Silver is golden


Dec 7, 1991 a girl faced a boy and they made some promises to one another.

It was 35 degrees C

200 people were watching

They believed in the optimism of the day. Their youth and audacity made them bold, reckless, brave.

Dec 7, 2016 a woman faces a man and together they are deeply grateful that despite what the intervening years have brought them, the promises have endured. 

It's about to start snowing

No one's looking.


It is too hard for me to say in words or even with my voice, what is in my heart today. 

To have walked these 25 years with Allan learning to be myself, learning how to be a partner, how to be a mother.  In these years I have changed so much, grown so much, had some of my lowest lows and highest highs.  We have shared so many "once in a lifetime" moments, made so many memories. 

We have failed ourselves and one another at times.  We have lost our way and one another for a time or two. 

We have endured with and for each other.

Today we are the sum of all of those moments.  

Even the ones I wished away at the time.  We have a marriage that is a topographical map of our combined lives - valleys and mountaintops and long flat plains.  Rivers, oceans, meadows... we are uniquely all of them.

Today we face each other feeling deeply deeply grateful that our journey is still with one another.  

We are deeply grateful for our beautiful children who are the best of us. 

Deeply grateful for our sets of parents who both have been beacons we can calibrate to.

Deeply grateful for family, friends, community who have walked parts of this journey with us, held us up, given us strength, laughed and cried with us. Listened, counselled, loved us.

Our faith in God, our faith in the best in one another, our faith that love conquers all were are travelling partners on the journey.

We chose love Dec 7, 1991.
We chose it for 9,125 intervening days
We choose it again today. 

I did, I do, I will Love you.