Thursday, April 28, 2011

Awareness

There is a statement that my therapist brought to my attention that I find to be so true. 
"You can't undo awareness"
I know its not rocket science .... once he said it I was thinking in my head "Duh"..... but really I have often lived my life as through I could undo or ignore awareness.

I think we have all had those moments when we suddenly know something, learn something, get something  - that AH HA moment.  Sometimes it is so exhilarating and you feel that immense surge from a breakthrough "Yes!! I got it"..... or maybe the wave of relief to find you can do something or that something you hoped was true turns out to be so.  There are also those moments of being aware of something greater or of yourself in relation to something..... those existential moments when you feel connected to the greater world - I think it often happens in nature.... that feeling of awe at the greatness and vastness of something that makes you feel small but grateful at the same time.  My faith also gives me that.

The statement is so true that many many organisations use "Awareness" in their campaigns - because they know once you know the information on Autism/Breast Cancer/Eating Disorders/Bullying/Racism etc etc etc...... you know and therefore you can act. If you choose.

There are also times when the awareness you come to is like an axe breaking your head open.  It's harsh, it's unexpected and it's painful beyond belief.  Be it news of terminal illness or betrayal or death or being fired or something else unexpected (like a Tsunami I imagine). Whether it is to you or to a family member or a friend.... we all feel these moments differently and to different degrees.  For a while your brain doesn't allow you to feel the awareness - it shields you from the stark reality of your changed world.  Thank goodness, because I think few of us would survive the complete awareness of devastating fact in the first moments.  Sometimes our brain tricks us into not seeing what is obvious and the awareness dawns slowly but at some point it is suddenly there..... and there is no going back.

But some of us,..... ok me specifically......, then try to live as though the awareness is false or will be short-lived or kid ourselves we can live as though the awareness never happened and we can somehow recapture the pre-awareness state...... I have found this to be fruitless waste of time.

What one has to do, I think,  is come to terms with the awareness and decide how to respond. 

I had lunch with  friend today who came to a stunning awareness about herself, something inside of her she did not know but which she has faced head on, through tremendous pain and with amazing strength - she is living with with her new, joyful and peaceful, awareness, not trying to undo it.  She made me proud to be her friend and she is an example for me of living with my own awareness and dealing with it.  I am grateful for her and for her openess about her journey.

May your awareness bring you joy and peace today!  If not, may this silly cartoon below at least bring you a smile!

1 comment:

  1. So blessed to have you as a friend my dear. I think you have more awareness than you give yourself credit for.

    xoxo

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