Sunday, March 8, 2015

Of viruses and Victoria and other things

Many times I come to this blank space to write about a time or an event or a specific topic.....

This is not one of those times.....

The last few days have encompassed altogether too many emotions.

And too much coughing.

So as I type from under my quilt in bed listening to CBC radio I feel reflective and grateful I am seeing a Dr tomorrow,

So lets start there.....we finally have a Dr after being orphaned when our Dr of 20 years closed her practice.  Allan and I met the new Dr last Monday and we think it will be ok.  Our expectations have certainly been lowered by the number of phonecalls I made trying in vain to get into any practice.  But that aside I am cautiously optimistic. And relieved.

Work is overwhelming.  I am managing 3 huge building projects with attendant designers with little idea about how the buildings need to be used......I am finding it wearying to fight for spaces that can be beautiful and does not have to be sacrificed for the other.....but I am not holding the purse strings and although some listen....decisions are made by others.  And the regular work just seemed more and a lot and too much at times recently.  I am in the nebulous space of having been an accessible and hands on leader when we were a small organisation but now being necessarily distanced from many staff as the middle "management" needs to lead and manage their staff teams while my time is more focused on HR, finances, facilities, strategic planning, board communication, PR etc. 

This is proving challenging,  Mainly to my heart.  I'm a relational leader and to channel off some relationships to others to manage is hard.....and totally necessary for our organisation to grow and strengthen and for my productivity and sanity.

So when my sanity seemed to be a little on the line mid -week......I made the decision to take a break from work.  As counter-intuitive as that seemed from the list and pile on my desk I knew I needed to get some perspective and calm my head and heart down.

For two days I did some things around the house, baked, made dinner, worked out, ignored the signs of creeping illness, went shopping, spent time catching up with my Mom and Dad (just back from Africa) and planning our trip to NYC...... I also spent some time sorting through some big feelings and thoughts.  And answering several emails and calls for work.

Our beloved girl is battling through the end-game of 13 years of schooling.... ready to move on but needing to stay the course through some big academic requirements.  Ready for a new chapter but the ink on this one is still wet and there are still a few more lines to write.  Struggling to find perspective to finish strong and see the many approaching events as enjoyable and not just things to be endured.  

And of that new chapter........ we are so proud of her acceptance to the University of Victoria for a BA in psychology.   Victoria is on Vancouver Island on a beautiful campus and only a ferry ride away (or 20 minutes by float plane). We celebrated this big moment with her.

Allan and I are coming to terms with this move, this new chapter for her and for us.  Sorting out finances, logistics..... trying to find out what we don't know but should.  Learning that the whole "giving them wings" thing is hard even if you believe the roots are strong.....this Mama's heart is being stretched.

I did teach all day Saturday (my other job!) but I took them on a field trip to the Bird Sanctuary on a most glorious spring day....... it was so lovely to be out in the fresh air (although the coughing was on the rise) and have some opportunity to practice more with my new camera.

And now as a new week starts..... the last week of school before Spring Break.....days ticking down to lift off for NYC and a few things on that TO DO list to get to still.....a heavy work week and now a wheezing chesty cough..... a dentist appointment at 7:30am  on Monday which will be interesting.......

I am here resting and thinking and processing.  I know sometimes its not helpful to be too much inside ones own head.....but at the pace at which my life moves sometimes the personal time out is needed.

Well....that's all folks.....thanks for listening.....


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