I have pretty big emotions that sometimes get the better of me (and sometimes make the world a better place ;)
So when there are things to celebrate, or be mad about, or to rage against, or to be anxious about I am ALL there. I can whoop and holler for even the smallest thing, for anything and I was the mother of the toddler chanting political protest chants at childcare.
I am also a "catastrophic thinker".
If there is a scenario connected with what I am going through or dealing with, I have thought through every possible scenario associated with it....usually at 2am.
The furnace stops working properly and I lie in bed imagining it is something catastrophic that will cost $5000 to fix, that maybe it is leaking gas into the house and the house is in danger of blowing up....I know I am not alone in this (Leslie , Jennifer....)....I know many people, often women, often Mom's, do this.....we are a secret sisterhood of worriers in the dark.
I prefer to think of it as a valid coping mechanism - Nothing that could possibly go wrong will surprise me as I will have already imagined it (and often solved it).
I am your girl in a crisis - always prepared!
All this to say that I have been trapped between these two sides of myself for a few weeks now as two BIG decisions had to be made, were made (sort of) and I have been having the following 2am thoughts lately....
1. We are being charged by a rogue Elephant and the jeep won't start
2. I trip on my shoelace at the start line and fall flat on my face
3. I see a shark fin in the wave
4. The rental car breaks down in an "undesirable" area
5. I am the last one to finish
6. I can't move for a week
7. Finances won't match expectations
8. Spanner will become delinquent or ill or injured in our absence
SO before you and I both go mad (or madder in my case obvs).....here are the two sources of my current desire to whoop and holler and imagine all sorts of catastrophic scenarios.
1. I am going to run a half-marathon. (there I said it out loud - gulp)
Allan and I met with the lovely and knowledgeable Erin Lee of 337 Multisport yesterday about how to start this odyssey (Allan is going to do a sprint triathlon) and it went well. We have some gear to get and preliminary work to do and then Erin will devise plans to move us forward. Our goals are distant....neither of us are in a rush but we want to start towards something. I think Allan will join a group as his training will be more focused and I will pound the pavement solo on my non-Jazzercise days. Unless YOU want to join me?
I am VERY excited and completely terrified. I hope soon to stop imagining myself tripping and limping and imagine myself crossing the finish line strong and happy.
2. We are going to South Africa in December. (deep breath)
S o u t h A f r i c a...... people.
That is far, far away (aka expensive) and its been a long time (20 years) since I was there. We are taking our 2 Canadian teens who will experience culture shock and 35 degree heat for the first time. We are primarily going to see Allan's family (cousins will meet for the first time) for Christmas but also to tour around as much as we can in the 3.5 weeks we are there. And then home via a few days in Europe (hopefully). Tickets have to be booked next week.....next week is VERY soon. There are SO many details/finances to sort out. Super exciting, super scary, super overwhelming at the moment.
A few weeks ago I had no notion that 2013 would bring all this.....and BOOM... just like that we are planing and doing BIG things.
Life is so interesting.
So although these great things are whoop/holler/catastrophic/terror inducing I hope to report from the other side of them that all went well.
And that no one was eaten by an elephant.