Sunday, December 23, 2012

'Twas the night before the night before.....

AKA Christmas Eve Eve.......

When most in the town are sitting in their decked out living rooms, a cup of good cheer at hand, lights twinkling, music playing, voices hushed in conversation.

Well not in my house.........

Because at my house I did not consult the calendar when the Sears Lady offered me an early appointment  to get my carpets cleaned on Monday.

Monday sounded great - the first day of my vacation - easy to schedule and the very first of my holiday projects checked off my list....... and the groupon used before it expired.....I smiled to myself at my efficiency and forethought.

UNTIL

Until I realised it was Christmas Eve on Monday !

(insert bad word)

So instead of relaxing tonight I was crawling around the ground floor of my house on my hands and knees dragging the shop vac behind me.

We have this shop vacs Grandpa

Because if one must vacuum before steam cleaning as the Sears Lady instructed one to do then one may as well vacuum the edges, the paneling, the window ledges, behind the furniture, under the couch, under the dogs crate......

I have single-handedly sucked up 70 pounds of dust (not me - the shop vac). 

The dust bunnies call me "the Grinch" that sucked up Christmas.

This should make me feel great - yes?  Even before the Sears Steam Suction Machine arrives, my house is dust free, like, mega-dust free and there is NOTHING under or behind my couches ..... nothing at all ... not now......

So instead of looking like Christmas,  it looks like we are moving..... like stupid people moving at Christmas time.... people trying to have Christmas as they pack up their house..... except we are not and our stuff is merely relocated into every non carpeted part of the house....

Panic ensued when the doorbell rang! (and can I say the Poangs have to GO - I am over them)




I am sure by this time tomorrow when we are sitting down to our annual Christmas Eve Seafood Feast with friends and family I shall feel like the perfect hostess with freshly laundered (if potentially a little damp) carpets, a sparkling clean house....... even baby Jesus will be back from his temporary spot on the landing.


So enjoy your bedecked, quiet, orderly homes tonight friends......enjoy...... and I leave you with this little yuletide gift...... do not shove the shop vac hose up the Christmas tree in hopes of staving off excessive pine needles falling to the carpet...... just don't...... you're welcome.


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