Thursday, September 4, 2014

Grateful Dammit

  I am going to write a list of things I am grateful for today.

Not because I feel grateful.

Or happy.

But because I need to beat back the creeping darkness in my mind.

I will choose to dwell on other things.....the good things that ARE there...... that happen to ME.......

Because I need to remind myself.

Today I am grateful for:

1.  A beautiful drive to work with low lying fog and an orange sunrise.  I let myself marvel at it.

2. A job (for obvious reasons).  And that I get to back to my messy office soon.

3.  The ability (divinely bestowed) to remain calm in the face of a baseless verbal attack. And deliver a few great comebacks.  "So you registered for an Infant/Toddler program and you're offended there are infants?"

4.  Fiercely protecting "my" kids from political photo opps....... cut a ribbon folks but don't mess with my kids who are settling in and doing their best to cope.

5. Coffee

6. Chocolate ( and the ability to stop at two because remember those talking pants? well they are chattering again) but its ok because

7.  Walking in the sun to Jazzercise.  My second workout this week after nearly a month away.  Feels great and I am ever grateful to Janice for her support and cheer leading......she got me back on the dance floor and those pants better look out!

8.  Beautiful flowers on my desk after brutal back to back meetings.....from a friend who loves me.  And I love her.

9.  Reading This beautiful and celebratory blog from a faraway friend.... go read her stuff.....its great and she wrote words I needed to hear today.

10.  Coffee

11. Going to the farm to get my CSA there anything more grounding than talking about vegetables with a farmer....?

12.  Sunshine is back

13.  Safe return of my fisherman who is also doing battle with the darkness.

14.  Coming to terms with the fact that I need a break from work.  Soon.  The world will go on.

15.  Leftovers for dinner.

16.  Managing not to shed a tear today although there seems to be a very full reservoir behind my eyes.

17. A heartfelt dinner invitation sent with love.

18.  Successfully printing out my groupon tickets for Barenaked Ladies (There will be naked goods after all).

19.  Actually getting back to this blog..... allowing myself to find my voice again.....

20., friends, a waggy brown puppy...... and a great reminder in the shower (where all good thoughts originate) that its time to put my hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water.....and trust that this stormy sea is for a season and my job is to keep my hand in His and keep on walking.

Walk on friends....walk on.


  1. Thank you Nicky! You, Allan, Lindsay and David are in our thoughts - hoping the darkness will soon be at an end for your family. I have been following your journey and I must say you are doing an amazing job of holding it together... I thought I would share a quote with you,

    "At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." Albert Schweitzer

    1. Wonderful words! Thank you! Take care of YOU!