Friday, April 27, 2012
It's not that I can't cope or anything (of course not!).....I manage the stuff just fine (with the possible exception of the lawnmower)...it's just that our lives are so set up to work as a partnership in just about everything we do that when one partner is away its harder.
And I missed him.
Allan and I are not a "model" of how a marriage should be but we have managed, through the highs and lows of 20 years together, to work out a way of being together that is very equal.
We parent equally, we manage our household equally, we make decisions jointly.
I see/hear about marriages or partnerships where its clear one spouse does much more of one thing than the other partner, often with the children and don't share the burdens equally. I was just sitting in Starbucks writing this when the two women at the next table went on and on about how their partners do so little to help with the household and kids (I am sure there is another side to the story....at least I hope so).
I guess I am just feeling grateful for a husband that is as happy cooking as I am mowing, that is as happy wielding a hammer as teaching me (or the kids) how to do it, that got up many nights to hold a baby or sick kid, who stays home with sick kids as much as I do, who takes care of finances and cars while I take care of schedules and the social calendar, who although he has dryer deafness still cleans bathrooms as much as I do (maybe more often), who always shares the decision making and usually has a better perspective than I on parenting issues. He does soccer runs, I do dance drives, he cooks amazing meals and I......make less amazing meals.
There is no score keeping - no tallying of the brownie points - some weeks (even years) one does more, the other less, some weeks one serves more and the other is served......it all balances out because we care for one another in the crazy busy-ness that is this life we have created together.
We're a team and it works.
Thanks for being my partner in this old life AB......