Monday, May 4, 2015

My daughter - The Spy

So Lindsay I hear that your death may be imminent?  Please tell me this is not true!

It's possible but not probable......Mom.

What is the "game" you are going to die in called?

Spy vs Spy 2015

So you are a spy?

Yes.  I work for the academy.

Is that like ISIS?

We only use water guns.  
And we only target teenagers. 
Specifically willing Grade 12 participants.  
Who signed the waiver and paid to play.

Oh good....so are you a target?

Yes - I am a spy AND a target. This is how women will succeed at this - we can multitask!

I see - How do you know who your target is?

I have been given a dog tag with my targets name on it.  And someone else in the Academy has a dog tag with my name on it.

What does this mean.....?

I have 2 weeks to find and kill my target which involves stalking them to find a suitable time and place (there are rules about this) to hit them with water while being undetected.  Once hit/killed they have to surrender their target to me....and they get their own dog tag back which means they are done/dead/out of the game and I move to the next target. 

And someone is trying to do this to you?

Yes.  And I am slightly paranoid.  

How can you avoid certain death?

Trust no one.  
Be the best.  
Don't leave the house!

Ok but really - are there people stalking the house?

Probably. Where are the binoculars anyway?

How can we shield you my darling?

LOL....good luck Mom.  It's a blood bath out there....be alert!

Can you be killed while killing?

It's complicated Mom but technically yes....I can't say anymore or the Academy will come after me.

Can the Academy kill you?

No Mom - they made the game - game makers don't play. 

This is a game.  You hate games....why are you playing this one?

I don't hate games.  I just hate losing.....games.  So I am not going to!    

Great - that makes me feel so much better - instead of dying you will be a killing machine?

You better believe it - this is the daughter you raised!  It's only 75 targets to kill.

And your code name is?

Bambi.....because who would kill Bambi?  Right?

Right..... excuse me while I speed dial a security company to stand guard at the house and escort you to school for the next 6 weeks.

Awesome!  I love you Mom.

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