Sometimes, although you have been mocked for years for being a "catastrophic thinker", sometimes one of those "worst case scenarios" you have imagined actually happens.
It's at those times you have to dig deep.
And you hope that as you dig there is still fertile ground to dig in.....a reserve tank ready to be tapped....
You sure hope there is more even when "in the moment" you feel you have no more.
I am in a bit of a perfect storm at the moment.
No need to bore anyone with the details.
Work is heading into "worst case scenario" on one, very significant front.......and my safe harbour of home has also had some troubled waters.
It will all be fine...... or as it was so aptly put by someone else "It will all be alright in the end. If it isn't alright, then it isn't the end"......
But to say I am having to dig deep just to manage day by day, hour by hour.... to manage my needs, the needs of my organisation in the midst of huge change, to manage people, to manage huge bureaucratic tangles, to manage big needs on limited budgets, to manage my home, my marriage, my teens (who are packing for a week of camp),
.......so far I am managing most things (I will be back Jazzer I will!)
And yet in the quiet of small moments......
moments at my desk when I look up and gaze out of the window,
moments when I take a big sip of coffee and feel it rush into my veins,
moments when I smile at someone and they smile back,
moments when the text message says "I miss you",
moments when care is shown in unexpected ways
moments of laughter (if a tad hystrical at times)
moments when the cool night breeze blows on me in the dark of the night as I silently pray........
the adding up of those moments added to by the
love of family
and the the care of friends and colleagues ......
those moments fill up the reserve tank.
And on we go.
Plan B ready.
Coffee in hand.
Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.