Like many others I am not big on made-up holidays that promote hallmark card sales rather than something real but I have had a soft spot for Valentines Day.
I have a soft spot for Love.
But this Valentines day I could tell was going to be different.
I could tell no one else in my family seemed that into it.
I merrily did my Mom thing and got some thoughtful gifts a couple weeks ago.....planned who was getting what. I didn't want to overdo it but I wasn't going to ignore it.
On Wednesday night I made up the little packages for Allan and the kids, used kiss stickers rather than tape and pretty pink ribbon. Lindsay was making cupcakes to take to school and piping them with hot pink icing.
There was no eager anticipation on Thursday morning.
Allan brought me a lovely bouquet of daisies with my morning cup of tea which warmed my heart.
I had to call the kids in to our room so I could give them their gifts (journals for our trip and other small goodies) and cards which I bought this year instead of making them but such is life.
And that was it....... I commented to Allan "How to tell you don't have any kids in elementary school anymore? No sweet, tacky homemade cards/gifts!".
It was feeling a bit let down as I left for work.
But I was to get a little surprise from Lindsay. Every hour on the hour she sent me a text with a ridiculous/hilarious/inappropriate Valentines card....... I laughed at some, groaned at some and all the while reflected that I am in a new era of parenting.
Gone are the little people bearing cards with their hand prints, or doily hearts, incorrect and scraggly written love messages..... being the sucky Mama I am I saved them all.
And now I save the text messages that say "Love you Momma" or " Have a good day 143" and all the xoxoxoxoxo's I get on my iPhone screen.
New love messages.
Time marches on and most of the time I am fully embracing of the new, the joy of seeing my kids grow up and grow into such lovely young adults....but yesterday I was just a little nostalgic....not for the roses and hearts and chocolates and cards but for those pudgy, warm, slightly sticky little people that used to curl up in my lap and whisper sweet breathy messages in my ear and press "treasures" into my hand in handmade envelopes covered with too much tape and kiss me with chocolate covered lips and laugh and laugh at how silly I looked.....
I am ok now with the new Valentine reality until the day someone else captures their hearts and I am not their number one valentine..... that.....that seems unimaginable but I am sure it is closer than I imagine.
For now I will take the text messages and hugs I still get and never take even one for granted.