Saturday, June 21, 2014

Battle Fronts

I remember my history classes in second year university.....waaay back then.

It was a relatively small class with an oddball professor who was engaging and a walking encyclopedia.

He was particularly knowledgeable about the World Wars and taught in a narrative way, telling the story rather than dictating facts.

I still have the text book from that class.  Besides highlighting some hoarder tendencies I may have it shows just what a good text it was.  Highly readable.

As these days have been passing and despite my clinging to the Grace I believe exists even in the hard places..... I found myself remembering my History Professors examples of the foolishness of war generals who had too many fronts.

These "too many fronts" made them weak and exposed them to attack, defeat and ultimately failure.

They had to fall back or reinforce or close on some fronts to advance in others.

While I am no army general I have certainly been a foot soldier these past weeks and most definitely fighting battles on too many fronts.

And yes.... weakened, defeated, sad, exhausted...at times... understanding well that too many fronts doesn't work.

So I have battled on.  Some days more of a battle than others.
Seeking Grace.
Trying to hold it all together.

And lo and behold a few "fronts" have started to close/resolve.

Some not in the way I wanted.  But maybe in ways I needed.

Like losing my teaching job due to amalgamation.  That sucks but it sure does close down one front on which I was "battling"/working.

Like letting go a big contract in my event planning business that has become unfruitful and only marginally profitable.  Another front closed.

Some "fronts" closed exactly as I hoped.

A big deal was resolved at work.  In an incredible way.  I saw that battle front close through a veil of tears. Tears of relief.

But

Some fronts remain.

We continue to be worn down by the BC Governments treatment of teachers.  And worn down with worries over lost income.  There is true solace in the solidarity of family and friends and we have had our spirits lifted by some truly kind acts and messages and offers this week.  Moments of light and victory in the battle on the picket line.

I continue to be overstretched at work.  Balance is elusive.  Fatigue constant.  Guilt high.

While my beloved family is a constant source of love and support parenting teens is hard work. They are facing the world, the complex world, and trying to figure it all out.  And we are trying to let them do that without smothering them but with just enough support and much love.....its a fine balance we don't always get right.

And no matter what - the kindness of people and the support of community and the deepness of faith shore me up.

So onward .....with trust and optimism that a brighter day, with no more fewer battles lies ahead.  

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