Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Cheese Sauce

This pot is a sign.

A sign of my adaptability.

A sign that even when I don't want to do something, I can do it if I try.

I am the maker of cheese sauce in this house. 

Broccoli does not get eaten without cheese sauce. Duh.

Whenever I make cheese sauce I make too much.

We put the extra sauce in a container in the fridge to grow moldy.  As one does.

This week our family unit is 2.  Plus 1 brown labrador.

Two humans to be fed.

And not just fed but two people figuring out how to be, how to be together, in this quiet house. 

The hilarious jokes about how much time and space we must have without the kids home (wink wink) failed to remember that we long ago figured out how to use the lock on our bedroom door (wink wink). And that even in a quite and spacious house we are still busy and tired most of the time.

It is easy to say I am not ready for this stage of my life - missing my girl for so many weeks now, hoping the boy kept his canoe upright in the white water today - but the truth is I was no more ready the day they wheeled me into the OR and said "we are going to deliver this baby now".  Or the day they waved goodbye to me at the Kindergarten door or when they caught the train downtown alone for the first time.

But here we are .  Me and Allan.  Figuring it out. 

Finding a different rhythm that doesn't have the complications and complexities of kids schedules and sports and youth and school.  

We have only ourselves to consider.  

And therein lies both delightful opportunity and some trepidation.  

We haven't had to bumble along as a couple for almost 20 years.  

And though it has just been for a few days I think we have enjoyed our time to chat and cook together and walk the dog, watch TV and do some gardening.   

We have pottered together and apart and been comfortable.  The usual stuff of studying and working out and cleaning the house goes on.  Just a bit more quietly.

We made lovely meals and set the table and prayed for our kids and friends and ate together.  

Sometimes there was silence.  Not awkward or uncomfortable.  Just quiet. 

And I figured out how to make cheese sauce that was just enough for two! 

Our nest isn't empty - we are right here - and our puppy is snoring on the couch (yes ON the couch) - and we are going to be just fine.

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