Attempting wholehearted living in a busy but beautiful life, facing 50 with grace and trying to make sense of what the days throw my way. Documenting my life as I see it.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Love
It seems like a very risky thing to blog on the topic of love.
First of all there are so many interpretations of what love is. Secondly, I am no expert on love. Thirdly, its hard to write about love and not sound sappy or preachy (and I am not a big fan of sappy or preachy).
So if I had any brains I would post a photo of a heart now and wish you Happy Valentines and sign off. But that would feel like a cop out to me and one of the goals I had for writing a blog was to be somewhat transparent about me and my life (My family is starting to break out in hives about now) so here goes........
I have been loved very well in my 41 years on earth by a diverse group of people. It started with my parents who thought the bald, round blob that was me was the most beautiful thing they had ever set eyes on and therefore sent photos of that bald blob around the world that still exist today (no I am not posting them).
It has continued with family, friends, my husband and my children and more friends.......
I have experienced many types of love...... I remember the first date I ever went on, that high high of infatuation which fizzled so soon. I remember falling in love with Allan, the preoccupation of my mind and heart with him and the dawning on me that this was not a fizzler.... that this relationship was going somewhere serious. That this was a sustaining and sufficient love. That love you feel when you first lock eyes with a baby you just pushed out grips your heart in an indescribable way. The love you feel when a friend does something that touches your heart, a warm , connecting feeling.
I first loved my parents for all they did for me and now I love them for that and for who they are and what they have shown me through their example about how to live life with integrity and perserverance and love. I love my sister and sister-in-law and their families and my aunts and uncles and cousins and Allan's cousins - an extended family can be a great gift.
I love my own little family too. I love my children with a fierce protective love and a proud, heart-filling love. It's almost terrifying to love another human so much - it puts so much at stake.
I love my husband too. With all my heart. It is a love that has been tested by fire, fire I did not want or choose, but fire that proved that love can win out if you choose it. My marriage has taught me that love is not a feeling every day, some days it is an act of will and some days its plain, unlovely, unrewarding hard work.
BUT I choose to love.
And that is really the greatest thing I have learned over the years is that I have a choice to love or not to love.
I have discovered that the big winner when I choose love is not only the one I love but me too. (maybe even me more).
And all this comes from a God who first loved me and chose me. If I choose to be like Him then the first thing I need to do is love.
I am choosing love today.
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our beautiful bald baby grew a beautful head of thick, wavy hair and a beautiful, caring, strong, resilient loving spirit - we love you Nicks!!
ReplyDeleteI love you too Honey, Through fire wind rain and whatever tempest may throw itself our way <3. We have our own way of saying too, 143!
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