It was good.
Each day I managed to do something that was good for my soul. A drive by the river, a walk, a cuddle with the puppy, watching the sunset, completing a few projects, checking some things off my Christmas shopping lists, cleaning the floors, driving the kids..... normal everyday stuff.
Normal everyday stuff a busy working Mom often misses out on doing.
And when I do get to be there at school pick up, plan and make a lovely week night meal, finish 3 loads of laundry in one day, get through the TO DO list that has been languishing for weeks if not months, greet my Honey at the door at then end of his day.....I often wonder about the choices I have made.
I'm not going to second guess the past. I think I can say I did the best I could have at the time. Some things I regret. Many I do not and it's all turned out rather well for us all so far.
But one thing really struck me this week.
I s l o w e d down.
I felt my heart, mind and body slow down.
And it feels really good.
The anxious buzz of my mind quieted and I slept better. My achy body stretched and worked in different ways and enjoyed being free of my desk chair. My heart felt whole and content even when the deeply troubling events of Friday unfolded I felt grounded enough take in what I could, to pray as I watched the images unfold, to talk it through with my family and to consider a response rather than a reaction.
Work begins again tomorrow and although I have had to attend to a few things while I was away I had a good break.
I am resolved to try and hold the pace to a steady, measured one when I get back. To be clear and prioritise and to walk away at the end of the days assured I did my best and not fretting about the next day and the next day and the next day.
Advent is not far off and I hope to enter into it with a ready and reflective heart that has hopefully learned a new, more balanced, peaceful way to be in the world.