Making the Most

I come from a long line of women on my maternal side who are experts at Making the Most of any situation. 

My Irish Grandmother found herself in the colonies (Cape Town) with 4 children and a husband who worked 24/7 in their printing business.  While I am sure she, at times, was frazzled, money was tight, the kids annoying...she might have wished Grandpa was at home on Sundays to give her a hand.  What we do know is that she Made the Most of the situation and packed up a picnic and those 4 kiddos and headed to the printing house.  In what little time and resources they had they made the most of a Sunday together as a family.

When we first came to Canada and jobs and funds were tight and taking vacations seemed a long ways off and Sundays were long without our friends....My Mom (half irish if you're following the lineage) would round us up on a Sunday afternoon and take us all on a "cruise".... we'd walk onto a BC Ferry and sail through the islands to Swartz Bay - stay on the ferry when everyone else disembarked - and then eat dinner as the sun set as we sailed back.  It was a vacation and adventure and it certainly Made the Most of a quiet Sunday.

Today we were feeling the post vacation blues.  The first week back kicked our butts as we expected but there were some curve balls we didn't anticipate.  And though it was truly wonderful to see our boy yesterday it was a long day for us just-barely-over-jet-lag folks.  And this morning it was grey and rainy and there is a distinct Fall chill in the air. 

As I wandered around Save-On doing the groceries, giving myself a talking to about gratitude and expectations and sucking-it-up...I had an idea to Make the Most of today.  When I came home we spent a couple hour cooking, meal prepping and baking and then I set the table for lunch. 

It's pretty clear we're not in Paris-in-the-Summer anymore but we can Make the Most of what we do have - which today was bread, cheese, meat and a bottle of French red wine - throw in a jaunty tablecloth and some candles and voila! Parisienne lunch is Steveston.

We can't live in Paris-in-the-Summer all the time or else when we had Paris-in-the-summer it would not be as special as it was... but we can Make the Most of the moments we do have. 

Thanks to Granny Nora and my Mama for inspiring me and helping me remember .........

What to say?

I feel I should say something.  

Something about our trip, about the summer, about how we are...

But I have been stalling

Because I don't know what to say

Because I don't know what you want to hear 

Because "How was your trip?" is an unanswerable question

Which day, which moment, which meal, which interaction, which heartbreak, which joy, which crazy moment?

I am still processing it all.

The Facebook version is visible for anyone to see - it was SO amazing to see so many beautiful people and places and things...

To breathe different air, smell different smells, hear crazy bird calls and incessantly barking dogs, to eat so many different or new or forgotten foods, to gaze on landscapes that were totally familiar and quite foreign, to hear language with accents, to walk old paths and new ones...

To see Allan's Dad so diminished by dementia.  Shocking.  Deeply sad.  Confusing to recalibrate our relationship to this new version of him.  To see the impact on both his parents.  To feel so impotent to be so far away and not be able to help - to do something - or just be there longer.  

To meet old friends who lived important years with us and hold parts of our history we seldom even acknowledge in these present years - so fun and grounding and connecting and somehow a little bit unsettling too.

Our beloved country so much itself and yet so utterly changed at the very same time.  Beautiful but broken.  So inspiring to know people who are working for a new and better day, family and friends living life and managing in trying and hard circumstances.  But it is hard to see a bright new day on the horizon.  it seems a future dulled by corruption and poverty and broken promises and yet a spirit of bloody minded optimism. 

I am so grateful to all those who helped us see and understand a little better.  

We loved our travels as a family, we laughed and we walked and we ate and we ate and we took insta-worthy photos and we listened to stories and we drank coffee and wine and beer, and we shopped and hiked and we loved being together.   Our kids are amazing, flexible, fun travellers! 

We loved being with our Byres family - having adventures together and creating new memories (Kid Sandwich I'm looking at you!) - eating and cooking and laughing together.  Telling stories of our past and remembering together (and the old family photo albums - yikes)

And then Allan and I had Paris.  A time to walk (50kms!!!!) and marvel and regroup and process and talk and eat and drink and walk some more.   We needed it more than we knew.  And we miss it more than we can say.

And so here we are - the night before the start of a new year.  The kids are already in their new places - Lindsay - a new house with friends and in her 4th year.  David an RA at UBCO and into his 2nd year.  A new job for Allan and a new reality for Spanner and me...well...same job but maybe some new directions. 

Summer 2018 was incredible - so many highlights - so much to be utterly grateful for and so much I need to still process. 

Tonight I feel completely grateful for where I have been and for where I am sitting right now. 

xoxo

PS - if you do have any specific questions shoot me an email and I will try and answer.

Domino effect

When you give a man a workshop / classroom for a decade or two

He will fill it with...projects. 

Many projects.

Some out of wood, some robotic, some electronic.

He will also use this classroom / workshop to house his collections

Star wars and lego collections  - to name but two.

So when the man trades the classroom/workshop for a desk job in a shared office ... one has a problem.

A space problem.  

There is a "man house" at home but when the man has more than one hobby...

Like carving and building and fly tying and kayaking... then one has a very full man house... before the collections and projects even arrive.

So

When you have a main house with a decreasing number of residents and a man house with a shocking increase in "inhabitants" then ... well.... you see where this is going....

The dominoes started falling on Saturday as the sheer volume of Allan's personal teaching materials that have to be moved became evident.  And as the space in the man house was surveyed it became clear - something had to go. 

So the fly tying station got bumped from the man house to the main house family room.  

Only the desk did not fit.  

So it got bumped to the backyard for donation.

The house was surveyed for other suitable options and the desk in the master bedroom got bumped downstairs to become the fly tying station.  

So the 1990's scrapbooking materials in the upstairs desk had to go.

And so by the end of the weekend the man house is slightly more ready to receive the contents of the classroom/workshop, the family room is now ready for the fisherman to tie flies AND watch TV AND chat to the wife who will not be scrapbooking. 

Apart from rearranging our house and the man house, overhauling workshop Al's wardrobe, figuring out dog duties as well as new work and workout schedules - the dominoes should stop falling soon enough, right? 

GAGOTT Day

I took the day off.

And how sweet it was - it sure has been a long stretch of full , full days. 

But I spent most of the day in front of the computer anyway. 

No, no,  don't panic... I didn't "work" on my day off but today was GAGOTT Day. 

Get A Grip On The Trip Day.

Allan and I set aside today to focus on getting 4 Adults across 3 continents, 3 destinations, and maaaany flights and having a spectacular time while doing it!

So we started with breakfast in the village - as one does.  Focus without bacon?  I don't think so!

And coffee - lots of coffee - of course!

And then we came home and sat on the sunny and warm patio and made lists and delegated research and thought through a bunch of logistics and supplies and connections etc...

Allan appropriately attired

And then we moved into our "office" and hit the computers. 

It was SO FUN!

I often do this part of trip planning on my own but it was great to have a partner in crime as we trolled our way through travel websites figuring out metro passes, wineries to dine at, beaches to surf, tours we might want to take, places not to miss and I even found our long ago booked hotel in Paris was having a sale and I got a better rate!  More croissants en cafe for moi! Allan spoke in a ridiculous french accent while reading websites and we poured over maps.  I "chatted" with some lovely ladies I went to high school with and made plans for a reunion in our home town (the reunion hostess lives 4 doors from Allan's sisters house where we are staying - CRAZY!).  We figured out how to wire money to SA to cover all the things my sister-in-law Wendy has booked for us (even a fly fishing excursion which just shows how much she loves that brother of hers!)  - for which we are so so grateful!

We ordered some gifts for family and friends and did a little travel retail ourselves - funny how that happens but yay I now have those dorky looking noise cancelling earphones for the plane (all in pursuit of some of the 44 hours we will be on planes to be ones spent sleeping!!!).

We didn't get it all done but we made a huge dent in the TO DO lists and we chatted and dreamed and laughed as we did it - with more coffee and possibly a wee bit of chocolate.

We were on such a roll we nearly missed the gym... but we managed to get out the door in time! Phew.  We are pre-burning calories for all the food we will be eating in August - that's how that works right?  

Such a great day off and I'll rest a little easier tonight feeling a little more on top of the #Byres4ontour2018 

Catching my breath

My happy place is where my people are around me

My happy days are busy ones

And boy oh boy have I had a lot of happy, happy days lately.

June was it's usual blur but for unusual reasons and when the first little person walks through the doors of Gardens Children's Centre tomorrow morning all that blur will have it's very happy and satisfied fulfillment. 

And apart from work, my personal life was very busy too and contained some pretty hard personal moments I had to dig deep to find the energy and grace to face and then keep on going.

Quite suddenly at 1pm today I found myself home...alone...and likely to be that way for the remainder of the day.

And I took a deep breath, put on a load of laundry and cracked open my laptop.  

I had a solid couple of hours to catch up on email correspondence, write a report, review my calendar, review a proposal I need to complete this week.  It felt so good to work away at the list in my head that has been popping into my late night thoughts.  Every now and then a brown lab would come over and rest his head on my thigh and look up at me with his big brown six year old eyes just to prove that when one has a dog one is never really alone.  I really do appreciate his presence in my life and in our home.

And as I flipped the laundry, made the bed with fresh, new linen, cleaned the bathroom, swept the hallway I felt my chest expanding, the air filling more and more of my lungs. 

I went to water my veggies,  trying to save my tomato bushes from the ravages of the windstorm last night, smelling the warm earth and the water and the plants, listening to the chatter but feeling pleasantly detached from it.  

After some groceries I came home and with only myself to feed, the sun warm on the patio and wind having died right down I sat down to dinner with just my thoughts and feelings.  No agenda, no conversation, no expectations, no obligations (and only a tiny bit of guilt for the lack of veggies on my plate).  The sun was shining through the hanging basket and leaned back in my chair and breathed deeply. 

Having missed the gym this morning I decided a long walk was in order and I took myself and my thought bubble to my beloved dyke - dappled sunlight warm on my skin, the tiny breeze cool and welcome, the smell of BBQ's, the odd Canada flag still flapping on a fence, flowers, dogs, voices, little puffs of dust as I walked along.

And so these hours come to an end as my boy is headed home from his day at the beach with friends - I am sure he'll be full of all the happenings and we'll chat until it's dark out.

And I will crawl into my fresh sheets tonight missing fisherman Al but feeling like I can do July.

My breath is caught, my head is up and my heart is ready.  

Licensed

I think that after a stressful event there are two ways to react: 

A happy dance, energized and exultant one whoops it up

or

weak-kneed, shaky, teary with relief one sinks into a chair 

I was the latter today.

6 years ago I stood in the shell of a decrepit old castle with a good few inches of bird (and other) poop on the floor and wondered if I (and others) must be mad to think children would one day play safely in this space.  

It has been a long journey, with many setbacks and obstacles.  This is the only project I actually walked out on in frustration and anger when things were not going in a direction that was respectiful of the children who would one day occupy the space.  I believe I packed up my stuff, as the room looked on in silence, and said something like "I wouldn't put horses on that playground let alone children.  When you decide to offer a space that is worthy of young children feel free to call me but this is not it".  

 

Someone called it a "power play" but is was my moment of "enough".  

These spaces are created for children and families and Educators but they are a piece of a much larger political and social agenda.  It can be tough to navigate and as merely the tennant we can get sidelined and squeezed out.  But we held the line for the children. We always do.

All those busy days, those days of discussions on flooring and lighting and the size of storage rooms, the height of windows and so much more (the discussion on the height to toilets is 15 emails long alone!)...  they... are...over! 

Today we had our final inspection in order to be granted a license to operate Gardens Children's Centre (notwithstanding the fact we have spent 50k, hired 9 staff and enrolled 40 families already) and we PASSED with flying colours.  

And I sat down, weak-kneed and teary after I high-fived my colleague.  

I am deeply grateful for all the people over all the years who stepped up to make this place the beauty it is today.  If ever it took a village, this one took a city, a developer, a non-profit and a ton of hours of work and thought and commitment to get us over the finish line.  

I have loved being in the castle for the last couple weeks (often on my own just taking it all in - reminiscing on the journey) but my time of start-up is coming to an end soon and I will be going back to my regular desk and the laughter, tears and energy of the smallest citizens will be the soundtrack here of living their lives alongside our excellent educators here.

My heart is full of gratitude and expectation for what this place represents for our community now and for decades to come.  Our vision is unfolding again in a new place - "Changing the world by honouring childhood"

And now I need a kleenex and a coffee. 

May the work we do, make the world we live in, a little more worthy of our children". Tom Hunter

ROAR!!!!

Remember THIS start to our 8 week Warrior Challenge?

Well....

It.is.DONE!

8 weeks - 8 nutritional challenges which were cumulative and 8 physical challenges which - thank goodness - were not!

This is what I remember:
Drink one large glass of water before you do anything in the morning (then proceed to spend the day calculating your distance from the bathroom)
No eating after 8pm (no problem.....on weekdays)
Drink a glass of water 20 minutes before every meal (see above for bathroom impacts)
Have 20g of protein at every meal.  40g for Allan.  
Prep all meals for 4 / 5 days at a time.
Have Vegetables at every meal (Please note: Bacon is not considered a vegetable) 
No sugar (no comment)
No alcohol (whatever - it was one week) 

500 push-ups (somehow continually cursing made these go faster)
Sleeping 7-8 hours a night ( ha ha ha ha ha ha - it's been over 2 decades since I put up those kind of sleep numbers)
A lot of V-ups (my abs, my abs, where the hell are my abs?)
20 minutes cardio 3 times a week (excluding gym time)
A jumpy, inchworm combo thingy for 5 minutes a day (total fail for me on this one - there are certain things one can do in a hotel room with a colleague - I felt this crossed the line)
1400 body weight squats (these were a pain in the butt... as they should be)
Ankle Grabs (I like these - I can do a lot in one minute, but in 2 and 3 and 4 minutes - UGH it's like time stood still and so did my core...but I ground them out while moaning loudly on the livingroom floor)
400 burpees (no words can describe my disgust at these but man my push ups are so much better than they were in week 1 - I have arm muscle bulges)

Anything I missed I must have blocked out.

But we DID do it - almost all of it... almost always together.

And some things will totally stick with us beyond the Challenge.  

Our water consumption is WAY up and more consistent. 

We have added spinach and protein powder to our normal morning smoothie and cut the orange juice making it a much healthier start to the day.  

We experimented with egg bites - egg/veggies and protein baked in muffin cups and then taken to work and reheated.  Allan loves them.  I cannot.  My egg pickiness cannot be overcome.

Our carbs are way down.  We cannot get through even a small loaf of bread.  The occasional bagel with peanut butter is still my comfort morning treat though. 

And beyond that we have much better awareness of good nutrition, the many ways sugar is hidden in everything, the muscles that hurt the most and the hate we have for burpees is unchanged. 

So today we measured and weighed in - we already knew we weren't going to see staggering numbers but we lost a couple pounds and a few inches between us.

When we got to the gym today - Coach Jeff walked over to congratulate us - we thought it was for surviving the Warrior Challenge but it wasn't... it was for being named the Clients of the Month at the Dojo - I choked right up and blinked really fast - to be recognised for the 66 weeks we have worked our butts off, through injury and pain, for having conquered some demons in trusting my body again, for having met so many incredible coaches and new friends and to be in the company of some of our greatest fitness inspirations, feels incredible.  

We couldn't be more grateful for this challenge, even the burpees and no beer week.   and all the support from our Coaches and Team mates #halusa!

We are warriors, even if only in our own minds... we have more battles to come ... I have yet to conquer the famed Hurricane class and we have aged bodies that still need a fair bit of conditioning.

But we are doing IT... one class, one day, one burpee ankle grab at a time.

Roar!!!