I need help.....

I have learned a lot from my 41 weeks at the gym.  

And not necessarily the things you might think of:

• I learned one must carefully consider ones nutritional intake (aka lunch) and coffee when one is working out at 4pm or 5pm.  Too much intake is  a problem.  Too little -  also a problem.
• You don't have to stand in front of the mirror when lifting weights - just move over a little
• A bad pair of socks can ruin a workout.
• The length of your t-shirt is critical until your jelly belly turns into a washboard (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ..... I hear it's possible ha ha ha ha)
• I look like an idiot in a headband (as it slowly moves up my head as I do my lunges and squats until I have a hair mound of crazy proportions on the top of my head) so I let my sweaty locks fall in my face and use my towel liberally.
• Laces that don't stay done up - SO annoying

• Fingerless gloves are not sexy but they sure save your hands when you are lifting weights.

• My fear of being chased is activated when we have to run ladders to warm up - my heart is beating from fear rather than exertion.  I have to stop myself turning around and screaming "LEAVE ME ALONE" at the person "chasing" me.

• Workout clothes cannot be worn twice and so I need 4 sets a week. For a non-shopper this has been ..... problematic. 

• As inches depart ones bottom and (less so sadly ) ones waist the pants they be in constant need of pulling up. One can see this as additional arm exercise if one wants to but at a certain point it becomes tedious and shopping is again necessary. UGH.

But I have met my nemesis.  

I have come to a point on this fitness journey that has me foundationally flummoxed. 

I have finally decided that I need a sports bra. 

People...... I did not know such torture existed.  

While I fully (and I mean FULLY) understand the need to tame the bosom during burpees, how, in the actual heck, is one supposed to get into and out of a medium to firm strength sports bra without a) breaking into a sweat b) straining several muscles c) trying to use ones lungs d) swearing?

I am at a loss  - after far too long in a change room where other shoppers must have thought I was wrestling a gorilla. 


At one point I was so tangled I almost had a panic attack at the thought of having to summon help to free me from the blessed bra. 

I now stare at it as I am getting ready to workout and wonder just how much I actually need it. 

And tonight when I wrestled it off I stomped on it which was ungracious - it having prevented two black eyes and back strain and all.


The internet tells me I am not alone but I am not so sure - I see all those other ladies effortlessly wearing fancy sports bras and still breathing normally? 

The only silver lining is now that I am so focused on trying to keep air in my lungs  while working out that I hardly feel the burn in my abs and quads.

Help.....anyone?