I'm adjusting to a new rhythm in my life and the writing-to-living-ratio is still not quite in balance. I spend way too many sleepless hours "writing" any number of posts but in the daylight hours I find much else to fill my time.
But on this wet and rainy and dark Sunday having accomplished many of the tasks I had set for myself (although not all - will that day ever come?) and feeling that sort of contemplation one feels on the eve of something big.... I am here to write as the evening settles in far too early.
The next 2 weeks, indeed the next 6, hold many important and heartfelt, anticipated moments. Moments long in the waiting for, long in the planning for, long in the leaning into.
I don't know about you but at this moment - on the eve of such moments - I don't often stop and fully realise them. I rush from planning into doing and attending and - boom - I find myself on the other side, usually happy, sometimes tired and sometimes without having really tuned in to the whole of the moment. And sometimes wishing I had just slowed down and settled into the presence of the moment. How annoying to be regretful that you mis-attended a moment so long anticipated and worked for consumed in details that likely hard matter at the end of the day.
Not this time. Not these next weeks.
Of course I don't yet know ALL the moments that will request or require my attending but I am keenly attuned to try and notice them.
The ones I do know about that rush at us this next few weeks are these:
Allan Byres will become the 3rd Byres to cross the Chan Centre Stage but the first to receive a Master's Degree as he does so. Convocation and all it's ceremony will not be endured but thoroughly celebrated. As hard as it was at times, it was also a joy and a privilege for him to learn and grow in his thinking. Truth be told - he misses the studies. And so as their cohort cross the stage and then raise a glass, I will attend to that moment with pride and love and joy for a journey so well completed.
On Thursday a colleague, and joyfully now also a friend, arrives from the USA to led my organisation in a Professional Development Day and a week of in classroom residency the following week. My heart skips a beat at the culmination of dreaming and planning and investment this will be. So many details, so many conversations, so many logistics and I will attend to her, to her words and actions but also to all my staff, to their thinking and work and ideas about how to take this investment and make it count individually and corporately. While I am tasked with keeping the plan moving I am coaching myself to not let the clock dictate the length and depth of the work. I am so very excited for what these many moments will bring forth.
And then - drumroll worthy moment - in late December those Byres kids will be home - oh the joy. I have dearly missed them. They are thriving and I love our texts and messenger communication but they best be ready for some serious Mama hugs. Those moments are not hard to relish and store up in my heart for the lean days.
And then there are the advent moments as we prepare for Christmas. Trying not to rush through and stress about the lists of gifts and food and events but to relish them and to not be too distracted from the reason we celebrate in the first place.
And as for the tough and hard moments that are sure to come my way I will breathe through those too and look for the learning inside them (without being grumpy - hopefully without swearing too much)
So here's to the moments - big and small, good and bad - here's to being fully alive and all-in with all of it.
Or at least giving it a heck of a good try!
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