Rainy Day

It was raining today 19 years ago..... so I'm told.

I didn't see the weather 19 years ago today.  

I spent the day in a dimly lit room, monitors humming and beeping, the rustle of paper, quiet voices......

It was the days before birth plans with playlists and meditation and yoga. 

It was in the days of a) praying you didn't go in to the labour and delivery ward too early and get turned away (oh the shame!) or b) praying you'd make it to the hospital before the baby was born.

Or is that how it is for all first time parents birth plan or no birth plan?

That terrifying moment when you realise an actual baby is trying to get out of your body and will expect you to actually know what the heck to do with it when it escapes the womb.  

The theory is all gone.

This is reality.  

Before long the dim lights turned bright, the beeps more insistent,  the voices more intense and my grip on Allan's t-shirt tighter and tighter.

With requisite drama and angst needed for a good birth story, a quiet and alert baby girl arrived in the early evening of May 28th, 1997.

19 years ago. 

Utterly, utterly perfect. 

I am both dismayed and delighted that today a beautiful, smart, determined, sassy, kind, funny young woman will dance by my side, in the rain, at a concert as we celebrate who she has become.

I knew when I bought the concert tickets the chance of rain was high - we have had many, many birthday parties on rainy days over the years - but we crossed our fingers and believed in global warming but alas... tonight, after the ID  me  her trying to get into the beer garden, we'll dance in the puddles and mud.

It's been an amazing journey to this point - she has never failed to figure out everything that she has faced through her life, with a fierceness and loyalty and sense of justice and with a grace and intelligence that belies her age.

I am so excited to watch her spread her wings and fly into her future.  

My beloved girl, my daughter, my Lindsay Lou..... I love you forever.

Happy Birthday.