In Grade 2 I was cast as one of the seven dwarfs.
I was cast as Grumpy!
I blame the fact I was a protestant child attending a catholic convent school for not getting a better role.....
I think then I made lousy Grumpy trying to conceal my smiley face behind a costume beard.
But today...... today I would have starred in the role....... Oscar worthy performance.....
Ever had one of those days when everything is annoying......not necessarily because it is ACTUALLY annoying but because , no matter what, the grumpy filter is well in place.....?
It started with a teenager who "felt really bad" as I was getting ready to leave the house..... but could not describe any symptoms other than a sore heard and feeling "bad all over"...... so a quick judgement if this was real illness or homework fail and therefore school aversion (sudden onset of illness with no visible symptoms makes me suspicious).....decided to let the child stay home. Of course this is the one who takes 6 gallons of water and 15 minutes to swallow a pill. Gah!
Onset of my grumpy symptoms.
This delay meant I missed an amazing sunrise and drove grumpily to work.
Every other driver on the road was an idiot. What are the odds.
And then really while I tried to be professional and smiley at my desk the aggravations kept coming.... emails of demands, other emails sent and no instant response (the nerve), the voices of people grated on my nerves, the slam of the door so irritating.....never mind it happens hundreds of times everyday and usually never bothers me.....today.....today it bothered in the extreme. The 5 phone calls telling me I won some bloody cruise in the Bahamas....the huge pile of mail...all.of.it.
Even the sunshine didn't help. I actually commented to someone I thought it would be sunnier today.
Oh.My.Goodness...... It wasn't sunny enough for me......there really was no helping me today.
The barrista at Starbucks was slow (and I stupidly decided not to get a flat white) as was the lunch place. The teenagers standing near me at the mall were using the F word for every second word .... I ranted in my head about the deplorable state of the English language, the education system, youth in general - Hello 45 year old grumpy pants!. The construction work next to my office was loud and intrusive, the cars driving to fast in the parking lot and 3 pens I tried didn't work.
I stayed hunkered down in my office avoiding as much contact with people as possible.
Then I had to stop at the grocery store on my way home.
I detest this on days when I am cheerful.....today it was a trial of epic proportions... in my mind and I contemplated steak sandwiches without fried onions and spinach salad without Parmesan but that only made me grumpier. The cashier was slow.
Home briefly to prep dinner, check on the sick and suffering now mostly well again (miracle!), have a cup of tea into which I poured too much milk.....UGH.
Off to my workout.....THIS, this... I thought will help me.....this will release those endorphins and the grumps will be banished.
But at 5:30pm as I drove there I could see an incredible sunset was coming.....and my new camera was in the car...... I had to do some fast "in my head" arguing and justifying with myself (don't be alarmed I have a fabulous therapist who is working with me on the voices in my head) and actually went to my workout..... now grumpy about missing the ever pinking sky I could see out of the corner of my eye.
You cannot imagine how my frustration rose to danger levels when the most uncoordinated and oblivious person walked in......fortunately she stood behind me and I thought I could maybe focus on the class .....
But no..... not today.....
At the last moment this flappy chicken person moved and stood in front of me.
LAST.STRAW.
If my eyes had rolled any further in my head they would have called an ambulance thinking I was having a seizure. Which might have been preferable to watching the flappy chicken do practically every move wrong. (kidding....about the seizure part).
Thankfully I came home to a beautiful meal and my peeps were in good form, relatively little bickering through dinner.
A long hot shower, a comfy sweater and a work project Allan helped me with has me feeling slightly less grumpy.
Slightly.
Hoping a decent nights sleep will banish the grumps - I need to boot the negative and annoyed thoughts and be generous and forgiving and engaged...... although my 9am meeting could kill the dream.
Anyway.
Tomorrow.
Night.
Attempting wholehearted living in a busy but beautiful life, facing 50 with grace and trying to make sense of what the days throw my way. Documenting my life as I see it.
Monday, February 16, 2015
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