Regroup

I have often written on this blog about that inner sense I get when our lives have been a bit too hectic and we need a family day - a day or an adventure or a movie night at home to reconnect....to get re-grounded as individuals and as a family.  There are many accounts of these on this blog.....and we have found they really work to keep us together, connected and energized to get through another busy week, month, season.....

Last week was possibly the toughest we have been through in many many months......many tears were shed, much hard work was done, stress was high, tolerance low, hearts bruised......it was a tough slog.  And somehow though my inner beacon was blaring loudly that our family was in need of a rescue, I just couldn't find the energy, the enthusiasm or the idea that would be perfect.

We are in the midst of some pain that blindsided us and drained each one of us to the point that over dinner on Thursday we talked about what we needed but none of us could really articulate what to do.....

Allan and I finally mustered enough energy to decide to spend some money and go away for one night. Somewhere close so we we didn't have to drive too far but somewhere new so that it was an adventure, somewhere on the water......we both love being on the water.

I took my trip sleuthing skills to the interweb and presto we had options.....we booked one night in Langley Washington on Whidbey Island at 4pm on Friday and left Saturday morning.

We had a good time away.  The Boatyard Inn was awesome and each of us had the time to think, to chat, to do the things that fill our souls......we rested, we laughed, we were quiet......we dreamed, we prayed......

David

Lindsay

Allan

Me

We came home feeling blessed to have had the opportunity to be away.....together......to have been to new places, seen new things.....

I guess if I am honest I don't feel a ton better.....hearts are still heavy and the anxieties still persist but I do feel just a little more able to deal with them, I have some more perspective that sometimes you have to go away to get....and we have some more great family memories which always makes my heart glad.

All families go through tough times, this is not a crisis, it's just a tough time and we have the strength, the faith , the family, the friends and the sense of humour to weather this one. 

25 years ago.......

I graduated from an exceptional school.

Yip.

I am that old. 

  Tomorrow is Epworthian Day and many of my classmates will gather at our school for a whole day of celebration from chapel, to lunch, to seeing various current students showcase their talents.

I wish I could be there to see where life has taken us all over the last 25 years.  It truly is hard to believe that it can possibly have been that long when so much of it seems so fresh in my memory.

I loved my school and my years there.

It was the perfect place for me and even 25 years later I think often of what I learned and am in contact with many of my classmates through Facebook.

It was a small, all girls, multi-racial (in apartheid South Africa), private, Methodist school on a beautiful campus full of jacaranda trees.  It was a place of privilege that I was able to access at a discount due to my Missionary Kid status added to by the sacrifice of my parents to give us the best.

We had small classes and amazing teachers, some very eccentric, who cared for us.  We had lots of  rules, we wore uniforms and much was expected of us academically and in sports as well as culturally.  We were expected to participate to our highest ability in all that was offered.

My last day of high school was a sad day.......I was sad that part of my life journey was over.

Just a few days later my family and I flew to Canada.

And here I am back in Canada 25 years later feeling so very blessed to have been an Epworth Girl, to now be an Epworthian.  I have made good use of my education.

But more than that I have carried friendships and connections to some exceptional women through 25 years of life.  We live all over the world.  We do all kinds of jobs. Some of us have raised children. Some have achieved fame. Some live in the same town and have sent their daughters to Epworth.

"Fida, Humana, Fortis"

Faith, Humanity and Courage......... core values imparted deep in my heart and soul and lived out as best I can each day.

Have a wonderful day Class of 1987.......Take lots of photos!

A Great Day off

So I took the day off today.

To do my other job. 

Today was the 10th Annual Assessment Conference at the University of BC.......for every one of those 10 years my business partner JB and I have run the conference......from modest numbers of 50 or so to a height of over 200 delegates to today's manageable 130.

We work with a committee and are heavily involved in all aspects of the day.  It takes 9 months of solid work to pull it off.

It's been a challenging lead up to conference day this year for a host of reasons and so driving out to UBC at the crack of dawn this morning I was running lists in my head trying to make sure I had it all ready to go.

Lindsay came with me and was a total whizz at the AV stuff and calmly set up all the conference rooms and dealt with amazing grace with a PhD meltdown or two. 

7 people arrived who had not registered......I smiled, handed out reg forms and got them sorted and printed name badges in minutes.

All the presenters arrived (one with only minutes to spare) and everyone was fed.

PHEW.

I did forget a cake knife for the 10 Year Celebration held after the conference closed!  But my partner JB saved the day whipping her cell phone out and getting a knife delivered.

Lindsay, JB and I drove wearily home after a busy 12 hours but satisfied that the day had gone so well.

I have lots of loose ends and details to follow up on in the next days or two but I have taken tomorrow off  and I intend to stay in bed for quite a while........

Escape

I am sure it is a common thing that when current circumstances seem overwhelming one tends to think about escaping.  For me this turns into an all consuming obsession with planning a vacation, a get-a-away.

Believe me when I tell you you I have neither the time nor the brain space to be dreaming of anything this week. And should not be planning vacations I have no time or money for.

But I cannot stop myself.

When I should be doing one million other things, a big conference with a gagillion details on Thursday on my shoulders, tons of issues at work, a class of particularly needy students, family stuff that needs my attention, soup to cook, house to clean, laundry......spending even 5 minutes dreaming of Hawaii or Aruba or Costa Rica is a complete waste of time.

Or is it?

Maybe the five (or 15 .....ok maybe 20 minutes) I spent trolling the Groupon/ LiveSocial etc Travel Deals and dreaming of  5 nights at a 5 star resort in the Caribbean for half price or a 3 day cycling tour of Napa, 3 days river rafting in Idaho, 6 nights in Maui.......was the break my over- taxed brain needed?

Maybe I needed to look out for a few minutes so get some perspective (and try not to hate all the people who already bought the half price tropical vacation)?

Maybe sometimes the point is just having something to dream about?

OK - break over - back to deadlines and delegates and a few minutes of dreaming here or there......

Disposition

dis·po·si·tion  [dis-puh-zish-uhn] 

I have been thinking about this word and it's meaning for a few months now and I am finding it has crept into my vocabulary and is popping up more frequently. 

noun

1.

the predominant or prevailing tendency of one's spirits; natural mental and emotional outlook or mood; characteristic attitude: a girl with a pleasant disposition.

2.

state of mind regarding something; inclination: a disposition to gamble.

 

  Synonyms
1.  nature, character, humor. Disposition, temper, temperament  refer to the aspects and habits of mind and emotion that one displays over a length of time. Disposition  is the natural or prevailing aspect of one's mind as shown in behavior and in relationships with others: a happy disposition; a selfish disposition. 

It has come up often for me when I try to describe the type of teachers/educators I need to have in my organisation to get the kind of curriculum I value and envision.  I need educators who have a reflective disposition, who think deeply and are deeply curious about the work the children are doing.

It's hard to interview for disposition, just as it is for common sense and loyalty and a sense of humour.

I know enough about leadership to know I need to model the disposition I want to see in others.  

Also true in my home life, my life outside work.

And it's a choice......

This morning during my Jazzercise Workout at 8am our instructor JT threw out the challenge to us that we smile through the whole class......seriously at 8am on a Saturday? Never one to back down from a challenge I decided to try and smile for an hour while sweating and concentrating and working out with intensity.  


It was hard and I had to make a conscious choice to keep smiling.  When I do the kick boxing routines with good intense jabs I usually get right into exorcising my stress and anger and frustrations so doing it with a smile was a challenge.


But it sure changed my disposition.  In the "fake it till you make it" stakes I smiled until my cheeks hurt but I actually felt happier by the end.  

Those endorphins took note of my disposition.  And responded.


In a very stressful and busy weekend and week ahead, and at a time of year I feel like an empty toothpaste tube someone is still squeezing hard to get the last bits out of I need to check on my disposition often.


And keep smiling!
 

Partners

Several things have happened in the last few weeks that have had me pondering partnerships - marriage partnerships in particular.  As previously admitted I am a bit of a baby when Allan is away as he just was for 6 days.

It's not that I can't cope or anything (of course not!).....I manage the stuff just fine (with the possible exception of the lawnmower)...it's just that our lives are so set up to work as a partnership in just about everything we do that when one partner is away its harder. 
And I missed him.

Allan and I are not a "model" of how a marriage should be but we have managed, through the highs and lows of 20 years together, to work out a way of being together that is very equal. 

We parent equally, we manage our household equally, we make decisions jointly.

I see/hear about marriages or partnerships where its clear one spouse does much more of one thing than the other partner, often with the children and don't share the burdens equally. I was just sitting in Starbucks writing this when the two women at the next table went on and on about how their partners do so little to help with the household and kids (I am sure there is another side to the story....at least I hope so). 

I guess I am just feeling grateful for a husband that is as happy cooking as I am mowing, that is as happy wielding a hammer as teaching me (or the kids) how to do it, that got up many nights to hold a baby or sick kid, who stays home with sick kids as much as I do, who takes care of finances and cars while I take care of schedules and the social calendar, who although he has dryer deafness still cleans bathrooms as much as I do (maybe more often), who always shares the decision making and usually has a better perspective than I on parenting issues.  He does soccer runs, I do dance drives, he cooks amazing meals and I......make less amazing meals.

There is no score keeping - no tallying of the brownie points - some weeks (even years) one does more, the other less, some weeks one serves more and the other is served......it all balances out because we care for one another in the crazy busy-ness that is this life we have created together.

We're a team and it works.

Thanks for being my partner in this old life AB......

Wordless Wednesday

I had a different plan for today but it didn't work out so here are some of my favourite sunrises and sunsets.....