Shame on us.......

Ok so it sucked last night to lose the Stanley Cup in Game 7. Their goalie was amazing, ours not quite as amazing and our stars couldn't score....... it sucks but it was an AMAZING season, we had an amazing run - there were many amazing moments and comebacks.  Somehow today we can't remember that.

I wish that that were the end of the story. 

But as the world knows today it is not.

We wake this morning as a City either hungover and possibly facing prosecution or totally and utterly embarassed.  A few, drunk hooligans intent on causing mischief have cost us more than trophy.  They have cost millions of dollars of damage, caused bodily injury, and badly damage the reputation of our team and our City and our Nation.  Senseless and stupid. 

Pollyanna is not my middle name and I often forget to seek the silver lining when the clouds gather but I will say that on my Facebook Wall there is unanimous outrage and embarrasment and horror at the events of last night from the full spectrum of ages, ethnicities, genders....... EVERYONE is plain mad and sad.  Some people went down to help clean up today and people have written messages of support and solidarity across the plywood that is boarding up so many buildings downtown.  It is interesting to see how social media is working to out the criminals by posting photos and videos and screen shots of FB pages of idiots bragging about their misdeeds.  There is even a rally being planned although some might be wary of large gatherings downtown at the moment!

To my international friends and family we implore you to understand this is not "us", not who "we" are..... this was the work of thugs among us.

It causes me to wonder why? What sparks that behaviour?  Are these people always angry and ready to blow?  Was this organized by some anarchist underground? I certainly don't have any answers but I do wonder that if it is because these (mostly) young people have had such an easy life, lived without major conflicts like war or famine or flood that they have no real perspective on life?  Or were they deeply traumatized by events in their past that were never resolved and are easily triggered?  Or were they just drunk?

Those hooligans have mothers and fathers..... I can't imagine my own son or daughter ever being involved in behaviour like that......... but as someone pointed out  if we let kids watch UFC and play violent video games and then why do we blame them for modelling that behaviour...... good point.

Sad day....... but maybe a catalyst for some community responsibilty which may be a longer lasting achievement than winning a cup.

Wordless Wednesday - CANUCKS!!!!!

Finishing Well

There is an Ultra Marathon in South Africa called the Comrades Marathon.  It is 90km's....... that's right 90......and not only that but it goes from the coast to the interior one year (UP) and the next year from the interior to the coast (DOWN)......

Thousands attempt this every year, from all over the world....... I have watched the start and the finish in my old hometown of Pietermaritzburg MANY times....... and never felt the urge the do it (ha ha).

One of the enduring images in my mind is of the stragglers who have run 80+ kms and are so close but their bodies are shutting down, their legs are giving out and they are staggering to make the cut off of 12 hours...... some of them lock arms with others and they help each other along (although they have to cross the line alone) and some stagger and eventually crawl across the line.  Far from being weak or pitiful I found it heroic that they would use every ounce of what they had left just to finish the journey.

In the Iditarod Race which I witnessed the start of in Anchorage in March, there is a special prize for the last Musher and his/her team of dogs who cross the line in Nome after weeks of grueling travel across a vast and treacherous wilderness, sometimes facing death several times.  The award is the Red Lantern Award and it rewards the last person for finishing. Just finishing is an admirable and fine thing.

 I have long held it as a personal value that it is important to finish something you start and to finish it as well as you can, with the right amount of attention and effort.  I think it says something about your personal integrity that you see something all the way through.

So tomorrow I will model that for David as he finishes well a journey that has been more difficult than it should have.  I will be there at the end of his day and help him clean out his desk and say his goodbyes because its important to cross that finish line, to know this particular journey is done and then to see the good and the bad in what was experienced, take the good and use the bad and move on to new and exciting things.

I am not looking forward to it, and neither is he..... but we will do it together and then get a Starbucks and go sit by the river for a while..... and then move on.

In an amazing turns of events today my sister Jill called from Anchorage and seeing as they are already on Summer holidays, offered to have David for a couple of weeks.  So in a flurry of phone calls and logistical gymnastics they very generously used their points to get him on a flight to Anchorage out of Seattle at the crack of dawn on Saturday and we will fly him home in the second week of July.  A BIG blessing for David in a week of trials - my heart is grateful and many prayers answered.

Gulp

There have been times in my life when I have felt alone.  Had to face something deeply personal and done it alone.  Of course I wasn't physically alone but you can feel very alone even in a crowd.

Last night when I posted my blog I was sitting in my livingroom with the lights off having a quiet, little, alone weep. But the blog world and the Facebook world reached out in an incredible way and SO many people sent messages and notes of support and solidarity....... in fact....... it ended up being the highest read post of all time on my blog.  I don't really understand the mechanics of that and I don't need to.

What I do know is that I did not and do not feel alone in this hard spot in my life and I want to thank you all for reaching out - It means more to me than I could truly convey in words. If cyber-hugs are a "thing" then consider yourself hugged!  A special shout-out to the South Arm Out-Of-School Care staff who wrote David such encouraging and thoughtful notes today - your words meant the world to him and to us!

Things are falling into place - I had lots of good conversations with various people today and we made some good decisions.  This week is sorted out and I am sure the next two weeks will sort themselves out in terms of care for David. We will get through this tough spot but you made it alot easier with your love and kindness.

Now if the Canucks could win Game 7 at home on Wednesday the week would really look up!

It takes a Village (Part 2)

Two posts ago I wrote about how the Village came together to help Lindsay - and WOW we made over $500 at the Garage Sale and Lindsay sailed over her goal of raising $1000 towards her trip to France - so thank you again Villagers!!

The story today is about a the failure of a crucial part of the Village to do its part for our son David.  I want to immediately say that many of you reading this have been loving and supportive Villagers for David and we thank you SO much and we are counting on you to keep it up as he faces some challenges).

We are pulling David out of school this week.

There have been many tears shed but we have finally come to the conclusion that the Village that is his school has utterly failed to provide him with safety from bullying and seems to have no interest in helping or even communicating with us.  This situation has been longstanding and we have tried on many occasions to dialogue, seek services, demand solutions....... nothing has worked and we have not been heard.  We no longer believe there is sufficient emotional safety for David to continue at this school or indeed for him to be a successful learner there.

Of course we have missed pretty much every deadline for applications for transfer and other placements so I scrambled around town last week trying to find something that will work for him.  We were denied a transfer to the first choice but have an opportunity to appeal the denial.  I did manage to register him at his catchment school and they have to accept him but its not a french immersion school so while he would have somewhere to go his continued studies in French would be jeopardized. 

But no matter what..... he isn't going to back to his current school and we are so happy about that.  Angry and sad beyond words but happy to have broken free of the negativity and hurt we have all dealt with there - most especially our precious son who deserves so much more.

While this has broken my mothers heart and the tears flow as I write this - it has also been so challenging for his Dad, who as an Educator is so affronted by the lack of ethics and professionalism of his "colleagues".  Allan is such an advocate for his students and has so often gone above and beyond for them, it makes him so frustrated that others don't hold themselves to the same standards.  And of course his father heart is also heavy for the impact on our son.

We now wrestle with what action is appropriate.  I wrote a letter than cannot be sent if I wish to avoid a lawsuit (but it sure felt good to do).  Allan is much more reasonable in his response and I am grateful for the way he can temper my fiery darts into a more constructive response!  We want to model "finishing well" for David and want to leave with our heads held high..... but we want him out NOW! (well ... I do).

So Allan and I are strategizing how to work out this week and the how to care for David through this transition and the next steps.  I am grateful for a partner who shares the burden of this with me so equally.

No matter what - David will know that we love him more than he can ever imagine and that he deserves a safe place to learn and grow and be accepted for who he is and we will not rest until we get that for him. 

Our sweet, smart, funny, loving, ice-cream faced boy!

Meeting with a view

My business partner Joyce and I had to go to a meeting in Secret Cove on the Sunshine Coast (which is actually the mainland but you have to take a ferry to get there) on Friday.  It's a long way to go for a meeting and we were not really looking forward to going.  It was a wrap-up of the last conference we did as well as a planning  meeting for next year so for the sake of the contract we had to go. One of our colleagues has moved up to Secret Cove and built a house and she wanted to host the day ...... so off we went.

I love the ferry - its such an egalitarian way to travel - there is only one class of travel.  Such a diverse group of people use the various ferries in the marine highway system it is always so fascinating to watch the people.

We met up with some colleagues on the ferry and drove the rest of the way together.

We had a productive day but I had to sit with my back to the window as the view our colleague has is magnificent and if I lived there I would sit and stare at the view all day long!  This colleague had an older house in Vancouver that had SO much personality.  She has amazing art and lots of collections of things and she put her home together so beautifully - I always loved being in her house - I felt like it told such a story of a rich and full life. It was so lovely to see that in the brand new house, just built, she has re-created that same sense of herself and her sense of design and style. It is a charming and delightful new space, just perfect for her.

Here a few pictures of what surrounded us as we met....... I couldn't help but feel a little envious of her new life in Secret Cove.... and I won't complain if we have to go there again!

View from the front

View across Secret Cove

A beautiful house on the point

The deck on which I would sit for hours

Charming kitchen

Lovely LivingRoom

It takes a Village (Part 1)

We all know that saying,"It takes a Village to raise a child"
apparently..........
the Village is also more than happy to help send the child off to France.


Child 1, Lindsay B, is going on a school cultural/language trip to France in October of this year.  They will be traveling to Normandy and will be making a movie of their experiences at the D-Day beaches etc to present at Remembrance Day ceremonies when they get home.  They are also going to Mont St.Michel and Paris.  They will also be staying with a French family for a few days (on their own......like only her and a French family...... I found this alarming.......I found it alarming none of the other parents found it alarming....... I had questions... lots of questions...... AND THEN they asked if she could be billeted with a family that only had sons .... only boys.... French boys... ARE THEY KIDDING!!!...... We said no...... so she will spend a lovely few days with a lovely French girl and her hopefully-non-criminal-caring-loving French family...... and then we will host the French child next April.......).

So this amazing and wonderful experience does not come cheap.  Working 3 jobs certainly puts a trip such as this in the "Possible" column and we are grateful for that........ however we are also of the mind that the beneficiary (aka Miss Lou) should participate in the payment plan.... and we are SO proud that she has saved almost $700 since Christmas mostly from babysitting and some odd jobs around the neighbourhood.  This has been a real test of her resolve as she went to the Mall several times with friends who were spending money on clothes and Starbucks and other things and she held on to her bank card ..... that stubbornness for which the Byres Clan is so famous, and no doubt helped them survive on the Scottish highlands back in the day, runs in her blood and she REALLY wants to go to France. 

But as the final payment deadline looms she is a wee bit short of the $1000 she chose as her goal to raise so we are helping her put on a Garage Sale on Saturday at 9:30am at 6th and Steveston.......

Through the power of Facebook and a great network of friends (including the Branscombes who are hosting the whole deal) we have amassed a great deal of really wonderful stuff....... it will be a bumper sale!!  In fact we are a tad concerned one of our friends may be robbing their neighbours to fill our garage..... 4 truck loads later.....no way this was all in their house????  I am also a bit concerned all their adult children will be at the sale on Saturday (at 9:30am at 6th and Steveston) to buy back all the things their parents have given away...... on the other hand they may pay a premium to get their stuff back!!

But honestly SO many people have dropped by and brought stuff over and we are so grateful!!  In fact there is so much stuff I forgot most of it was not from this house and I was about to miss a huge opportunity to clean out a few of my own cupboards so I emptied some cupboards today and put a lot of stuff in a box.  Lindsay has been putting prices on things for the last 2 days and there are still piles to get done but we are pricing for quick, no-haggle sales......... at 9:30am on Saturday at 6th and Steveston.........

So thank you Villagers for helping these parents and this child to make BIG dreams come true...... I am so grateful to be in this Village with you all. 

Your job is not done....... other than coming to buy back your stuff on Saturday at 9:30am at 6th and Steveston you had all better be on your knees praying in October..... that I don't have a nervous breakdown sending my beautiful girl off to a foreign land without me....... and that those French boys keep their distance :)

Merci Mon Ami, Merci!