Standing with the Fallen (Guest Post)

The Maple Leaf frames French Sky

My daughter Lindsay was in France for 2 weeks in October.  Part of the object of the trip was to visit the D-Day Beaches and learn about the Canadian efforts in Europe.






Below are Lindsay's words and photos:

 While in France we visited a few war cemeteries that were all so different but still so moving. The Canadian cemetery was so full of patriotism even though we were thousands of miles away from home. It was so touching to see that entire towns (Bernieres sur Mer and Dieppe) were as affected by and grateful to the Canadian soldiers as Canadians at home were. I had no idea how well represented and appreciated we were as a country in a place so far away.

It was very moving to be able to walk where the soldiers fought so many years ago. We were able to go inside the bunkers at Juno beach where we could very realistically visualize what happened on a day to day basis during the war. It was eye opening, it made Remembrance Day more real and have so much more meaning for me.

The poem Flanders Fields has so much more power and meaning for me.  You really got that "row on row" feeling, it made my heart full of pride as the same time it was heavy with sorrow. It affected so many families those many years ago, and it still does today.

Canadian Centre at Juno Beach

Juno Beach

Canadian War Cemetery

Row on Row

Lest we forget

Richardson Day

I had the gift of a few hours yesterday of just being a daughter, sister and aunt......hanging with my parents and my sister and her littlest baby Ian (who is her 7th child and only 5 weeks old).

Such a little peanut!

My Mom and my Sister Jill have been in New Orleans where my sister was presenting at and attending a conference - that is my sister- Dr.Jillian Gates PhD!  My Mom went to take care of Mr. Ian and from the sounds of things they had a wonderful time together exploring New Orleans.  My Mom is an amazing Grandmother (affectionately called Gaga by her 9 grandchildren) and is always so delighted to be with them.  She is as in love with this #9 as she has been with every other one.

Gaga

My Dad and I drove down to Seattle (a 2 hours drive) with a stop for breakfast in Bellingham.  It was great to have a couple of hours of Dad time.  We chatted about such a broad range of subjects and caught up on several things.  We live close by and see each other often but its not often we long chats.  I cherish those times.

My sister had a long layover in Seattle before her flight home to Anchorage so we headed to the South Centre Mall area and my parents treated her (and all of us) to her favourite restaurant - the Olive Garden.  We were there for a couple hours eating and chatting and we took some family photos too.  Then we did some shopping and headed back to SeaTac for a teary goodbye.

The Richardson's

Sisters

It is a rare thing for our family of origin - just the Richardson's - to be together and I felt blessed to have the time - it was a gift.  It was an added bonus to hold a wee nephew and tell him we love him.  I so seldom get to be the Aunty in person.

Aunty Nicky

My heart is full of gratitude for my Mom, my Dad, my Sister - for all the complexities those relationships hold but for all the joy and the love that we have been lucky to have in one another.  And for the laughs......man.....we had some great laughs.

Love you guys!

My Mom will kiss the screen when she sees this!

What's in a box?

David brought home two shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child. 

We have done several of these boxes over the years.  You fill the shoebox with items for a specific gender and age child - they give you specific guidelines and you provide the cost of shipping it and off it goes....to a child in poverty. 

This year I have been having a hard time doing this.

I guess I just really feel burdened that nothing I put in those boxes is really going to help.....or help enough.  This year the boxes are supposed to be going to Haiti which I have learned a great deal about from these two amazing ladies Tara Livesay and Heather Hendrick.  This is a place where the depths of unimaginable poverty are plumbed every day by very small children, women, everyone trying to live there really.  Life is so hard.  And it's hard in far too many other places too.

Part of me really believes nothing in a shoebox is going to make any difference.

But the other part of me believes every human needs some joy, some hope to stay alive.  Children love opening a gift (heck I love opening a gift). Sometimes just having something that is new and is just for you can be a treasure all it's own. Sometimes knowing someone, somewhere cared enough to pack a box and write a note lifts your heart.  Maybe it's not about the stuff at all - it's about love and joy and hope - connection and caring. Or am I trying too hard here?

And children here in Canada need the exposure, the chance to do something. To understand that what is in that box may be all a child gets as a gift - all year - maybe ever...... it might help them review their Christmas list.

So we packed the boxes as full as we could with things we really hope are both useful (soap, a toothbrush, school supplies) and fun (bouncy balls,  toy cars, stickers and candy). 

I wish I had the funds to build a maternity centre to save lives in Haiti, or a school in Tanzania, or a clinic in India, or a well in Rwanda but until I win the lottery I hope we make a couple of children happy.

Sometimes it's better to do nothing than to do the wrong thing... but in this case I think it's better to fill the shoebox and send it with hope and a prayer that it helps in some way in some faraway place.

The customer is..........

I was chatting with my friend Graham (grey-hum) last night who is both a business and social media whiz kid Whiz Guy.... and we were sharing stories of sending feedback to places we shop or eat at and what kind of responses we got...or didn't..... as was the case.  Graham has very good instincts about how to develop and maintain good public relations for a business - he had many genius ideas (and some whacked out ones too  - not many - but a few) but we both agreed that it is only at your peril that you ignore customer feedback.

These sorts of discussion always make me think because I run a customer service organisation.  People pay "me" (the Society of Richmond Children's Centres) a fee and we provide them an exemplary, top-notch service with exceptional staff in beautiful custom-built environments.......until we drop the ball on something......and we do.....there are alot of balls in the air at any given moment as we care for 100 children everyday and we do, occasionally screw up.

And the buck stops on my desk.

I have learned a great deal about how best to handle these situations over the years.  It is a real skill to strike the right balance between accepting the feedback/criticism and making the apology and/or rejecting the criticism, stating the boundaries and holding the line/defending the actions of staff......without being either defensive or too passive.

I have learned alot about clarifying things to get to the actual issue, taking my time in responding especially if the other party is angry, using clear, simple statements and making it right if I can and always.....always following up later to make sure all is going as planned.

I recently had a challenging situation with my dentist...... some major miscommunication led to me getting a very large and completely unexpected bill.  After some discussion with the office staff I realised I was stuck with the bill.  I went in to pay it, in full, but I left a letter for the dentist with my frustrations clearly and simply stated and asked that any further dealings with my family be handled differently.

Within 2 hours the dentist called (on a Saturday) to thank me for the letter!  She so rightly stated that she appreciated the fact that I took the time to let them know I was frustrated instead of just walking away. (I always thank people for letting me know there is a problem - I can't solve a problem I don't know about).  She promised to get onto the concerns first thing Monday and get back to me by the middle of the week with what they discovered.  She acknowledged I had a concern, that her staff needed the opportunity to give their "side" and that I deserved a timely response.

I was already impressed.

And then the following Thursday I came home to a letter from the dentist that was possibly the most perfectly written response to a complaint I have ever read. It fully acknowledged the issue, apologised unreservedly for the the failure of their internal systems, the failure of all their checks and balances. Restated their commitment to a level of service provision I should expect and reiterated that we mattered to them as clients and they wanted to make the situation right.

They enclosed a cheque for the full amount I had paid.

They "had" me at the letter - it was brilliant - had the exact right tone.  The cheque seemed overly generous.  Allan and I debated what to do.  I imagined myself in a similar situation of wanting to make a situation right and how I would feel if the remedy I gave was rejected.  We knew that we would want to stay with this dentist and for the relationship to be restored so we cashed the cheque (with a small pang of concern lingering).

It was a great lesson for me.  It was a great example of customer service. 

And BTW - if you need help with your business and social media and customer service yadda yadda yadda...... let me know and I will send Graham your way!

Stateless No More

 I was born in South Africa.

To a British Mother and a Canadian Father.

I was registered as a Canadian at birth and have had a Canadian passport since before I could write. Seriously - my first passport at 12 months old, blonde curly haired me in the photo (smiling) and where the signature should be it says "bearer cannot write".

I sponsored my spouse (a South African) when we moved here. And trust me when I tell you that was no.small.thing - medicals, forms and forms, a 7 hour trip to attend an interview on a date determined by the Canadian embassy (too bad if you had a university final exam on the same day), more forms, fingerprints etc etc......

So let's just say the Canadian government thought I was a good bet as a Canadian citizen to sponsor my husband - they likely did a fair bit of checking on me.

A couple of years ago I went to renew my passport with my "Certificate of Birth Abroad" which has always been my primary proof of citizenship.

I was told that the Canadian Government had decided that this certificate was no longer valid proof of citizenship.  I was told to apply for a citizenship card.

I did.

A year went by....and after inquiring several times I was told it could be another 16 months as there had been some concern with my identity and the application had been sent for secondary screening. 

Problem: My passport is going to expire in 90 days.

And we are going to Hawaii before then and immigration gets a bit antsy when you travel on an almost expired passport.

So I have been freaking out - we looked into getting legal advice - talking to our MP......I couldn't imagine being unable to travel at all, not even to the USA. (Because without a citizenship card you cannot even get the enhanced drivers license which would allow cross border travel at least).

And then .......Today - out of the blue and about a year sooner than they told me......My first ever citizenship card ARRIVED!

Yahoooo.......I am here to stay people - I am yours now Canada...... deal with it!!!

Food Memories

The photo above will only mean something to you if you are a) South African or b) a South African living abroad or possibly c) have mad South African friends who have corrupted your tastebuds.

I was at a children's art warehouse in Port Moody yesterday (and can I say how lovely that part of the lower mainland is - I must return when not on work time to explore more) and in the semi-industrial complex next door was "African Trading" - a store selling all manner of goods from South Africa.

It's like falling through the rabbit hole.....
It's like walking through the wardrobe......
It's like walking into my childhood.....

It is a strange feeling.

Almost every product I look at stirs some long ago memory or association - I can smell the Ouma rusks dipped in coffee, the Lux soap, the wilson mint imperials my grandfather always had in his car.....I see those cookies on plates on veranda's on summer days, I know recipes that call for tennis biscuits.....

And suddenly I want it all - I want to run through the place grabbing one of everything - there is this ridiculous, loud argument going on in my head

Voice 1
"Buy it, ohhhh remember when you had those when you were a kid" "You should totally get those for Allan he would love them" "You should get those - the kids should know about those - taste that..."

Voice 2
"Who even knows what this stuff has in it - half of it is banned here" "You get the same stuff here - it's just different packaging - don't get sucked in" "Eating this stuff won't turn back time" "Check the expiry date - who knows how long this stuff has been here" "Talk about global footprint!"

Today, it was a tie between Voice 1 and Voice 2.

I got some things but I left others on the shelf....some of it regretfully I will admit (like the tennis biscuits and the Eat sum mores).  But not so regretful that I would drive the 45 minutes back to the store get them.......right now.....

It was the cookies that got to me today - my colleague Jennifer bought a box of Chockits and opened them in the car.....I had one.......ok........I had 2 - SO good!

The feeling of nostalgia was with me all day - funny how powerful memories can be.

So looking forward to a cheese and Mrs Balls Chutney sandwich, some nicknaks and jellytots.

And blowing one perfect bubble gum bubble with my chappies!!

Wordless Wednesday - The Trees